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IELTS Writing task 2: rise in world's population
TASK: The continued rise in world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?Some affirm? (The topic starts with a fact, not one side of an argument) that Nowadays, the increase of the world's population is the most serious problem that humanity has to deal with. It is indeed a danger, in particular, because this rise could worsen world hunger since there won't be enough resources for such a great number of people ( This seems to imply that you agree with the topic, yet your conclusion contradicts this statement). But, what is this augmentation due to? (Who is this question for?)
In an introduction, you should give a background statement related to the topic and state your thesis very clearly. The thesis should give the examiner an overview of the content of the essay. If you disagree with the topic then clearly state this and you may include the reason, without detailed explanation for this as the explanations should be done in the body paragraphs. Then state that this essay will explore some of the factors that influence this issue. In this way, you will clearly outline the purpose of the essay and address both the questions of the task.
(You need to start this paragraph with a topic sentence that indicates the content in it. If you disagree then start the paragraph by stating that you disagree with this topic for two/ three main reasons or something to that effect.) Firstly, even though if in some continents, for instance in Europe, the number of births is significantly decreasing in some continents such as Europe, in several other parts of the world, the namely in Africa, the population is continuing to increase for many reasons.( This sentence is too complex). A good illustration of this is in Africa, where this trend is influenced/ catalyzed by certain aspects concerning a number of aspects of society, such as the level of female education and religion.
Secondly, the development of health care made life expectancy far more longer than how it was before. In fact, if we look at European history, we can notice that there were some period in which population was reduced after an epidemic (the plague, the cholera and so on). At the present time, hopefully, we don't have to worry about these diseases anymore.
Furthemore, the amelioration of hygienic conditions had an important role in the rise of world's population because, as is well known, it reduce the risks related to illnesses.
To conclude, this augmentation is due to a number of factors and it could be very difficult to handle in the future. Nevertheless, I am not convinced that population increase is the main problem humanity has to face. On the contrary, I believe that global warming, as well as other environmental issues, is the main danger we have to confront in this era.
IELTS Writing task 2: rise in world's population
TASK: The continued rise in world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?Some affirm that nowadays the increase of world's population is the most serious problem that humanity has to deal with. It is indeed a danger in particular because this rise could worsen world hunger, since there won't be enough resources for such a great number of people. But, what is this augmentation due to?
Firstly, even if in some continents, for instance in Europe, the number of birth is significantly decreasing, in several parts of the world, namely in Africa, population is continuing to increase for many reasons concerning a number of aspects of society, such as the level of female education or religion.
Secondly, the development of health care made increased life expectancy in current times far more longer (increased means the same as this) compared to the past. than how it was before. In fact, if we look at European history, we can notice that there were some periods in which the population was reduced after an epidemic (the plague, the cholera and so on). At the present time, hopefully (this makes the argument sound weak), we don't ( avoid contractions)do not have to worry about these diseases anymore.
Furthemore, the amelioration of hygienic conditions had played an important role in the rise of world's population because, as is well known, it reduced the risks related to illnesses.
To conclude, this augmentation is due to a number of factors and it could be very difficult to handle in the future (Summarise the factors you wrote about). Nevertheless, I am not convinced that population increase is the main problem humanity has to face ( Nothing in this essay supports your opinion. The entire essay only focuses on one question. This means that your task response is incomplete). On the contrary, I believe that global warming, as well as other environmental issues, is the main danger we have to confront in this era (You should have written a paragraph about these issues in support of your opinion)
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