Doubts Now the night has fallen on the town; I'm there lying on my couch, staring at the ceiling, wondering what's next. Yet this day had not started so bad. Though I woke up with difficulty this morning, after a short night, the first rays of daylight provided me a certain feeling of relief, let's call it, optimism. The first part of the day was fully loaded of this sentiment. For once, since a long time, I was feeling usefull again, seeing a sense to my work, that I once thought lost. Again, I was pleased to hear people concerns, again I felt like involving myself to this mission, helping the helpless. That's when came the afternoon with waves of more or less consistent concerns, those problems with desesperately no solution and those requests for solutions without any problem. And that's when I started to feel alone again. Everyone had their own thoughts and concerns, and today no one would hear about mine. Some had much more serious than mine, finding themselves quite totally helpless facing them: this one fighting a cancer, that one taking care of a father suffering from severe dementia, that other one suffering both from severe arthritis and looking after her demented husband. My own thoughts were nothing compared to all this, but within every break in activity, they went back overwhelming me. I was in a struggle to look at people in the eye and not staring into space, in an effort to concentrate on getting every word said to me. My day at work ended on a kind of dual sentiment, the relief of getting of a harrassing day, mixed with the anxiety of finding myself back alone with my thoughts. A friend calling me unexpectedly took me off of them for a while; at the beginning, I was feeling like telling him a bit, but obviously the conversation was going right on something else. And the doubts instantly came back. So here I am, lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, biting my lower lip... And I wait.