我的家鄉

我的家鄉

各位朋友，大家好！ 我想正式介紹一下我在伊利諾州的家鄉——芝加哥。（破折号比逗号好，直接引出对象）這個很大的城市位於伊利諾的北部。大約有兩百七十萬居民。他們主要從事製造，航運，零售，和酒店工作。大多數人都忙著去上班為了養家糊口去上班，因此人和人之间並不是很友好老是友好的。 （如果是地道的汉语作文，请在例举的时候用顿号。）

芝加哥的社區分為有產者和無產者，在学校里就反映了这一事实。 而且，他們的學校反映這一事實。比如在有產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是最好的設備和最新的學習材料。還有他們还有最好的老師。但是，在無產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是破舊的設備和過時的學習材料。還有，比起教學，教師們更關心的是安全性。

不要誤解我的意思。芝加哥仍然是一個了不起的城市，值得參觀。芝加哥虽然沒有山清水秀，但是和同紐約或洛杉磯一樣，也有很多名勝古跡。我喜歡我的家鄉。建議大家從國外有機會去那裡看看出訪。

Hello, everyone. I want to formally introduce my Illinois state, hometown, Chicago. This very big city located in Illinois, north part. About have 2.8 million residents. They primarily engaged in manufacturing, transport, retail, and hotel work. Most people busy going to work to feed families, thus not always very friendly.

Chicago communities divided into the haves and the have-nots, and their high schools mirror this fact. Example, in property owner community high schools, students have best facilities and latest learning materials. Also they have best teachers. But In non-property owner community high schools, students have shabby facilities and outdated learning materials. Also, compared with education, teachers are more concerned with safety.

Don’t misunderstand my meaning. Chicago still is a great city to visit. Chicago doesn't have enchanting scenery but like New York or Los Angeles, the same very much historic sites. I love my hometown. I suggested everyone from abroad have chance go that place travel (on business or visit.)

1、你的汉语程度很高，所以我建议你在写作的时候多注意一下标点符号。汉语中的标点符号有时候能代替语言，表达很深刻的涵义；

2、建议你可以使用关联词来写作文，这样的作文不仅流畅，逻辑性也很好。

3、学海无涯，学无止境。共勉！

我的家鄉

我的家鄉

各位朋友，大家好！ 我想正式介紹一下我在伊利諾州的家鄉，芝加哥。這(是）個很大的城市，位於伊利諾的北部。大約有兩百七十萬居民。他們主要從事製造，航運，零售，和酒店工作。大多數人（為了養家糊口）都忙著去上班為了養家糊口，因此並不老（总）是友好的。

芝加哥的社區分為有產者和無產者， 而且，他們的學校（也）反映這一事實。比如在有產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是最好的設備和最新的學習材料，還有他們（還）有最好的老師。但是，在無產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是破舊的設備和過時的學習材料。還有，比起教學，教師們更關心的是（他们的）安全。

不要誤解我的意思，芝加哥仍然是一個了不起的城市參觀。芝加哥沒有山清水秀但是和同紐約或洛杉磯一樣（有）很多名勝古跡。我喜歡我的家鄉。建議大家從國外有機會去那裡出訪（来这里旅游）。

Hello, everyone. I want to formally introduce my Illinois state, hometown, Chicago. This very big city located in Illinois, north part. About have 2.8 million residents. They primarily engaged in manufacturing, transport, retail, and hotel work. Most people busy going to work to feed families, thus not always very friendly.

Chicago communities divided into the haves and the have-nots, and their high schools mirror this fact. Example, in property owner community high schools, students have best facilities and latest learning materials. Also they have best teachers. But In non-property owner community high schools, students have shabby facilities and outdated learning materials. Also, compared with education, teachers are more concerned with safety.

Don’t misunderstand my meaning. Chicago still is a great city to visit. Chicago doesn't have enchanting scenery but like New York or Los Angeles, the same very much historic sites. I love my hometown. I suggested everyone from abroad have chance go that place travel (on business or visit.)

我的家鄉

我的家鄉

各位朋友，大家好！ 我想正式介紹一下我在伊利諾州的家鄉，芝加哥。這個很大的城市位於伊利諾的北部。大約有兩百七十萬居民。他們主要從事製造，航運，零售，和酒店工作。大多数人为了养家糊口而忙着工作，因此彼此间并不是如何亲近。

芝加哥的社區分為有產者和無產者， 而且，他們的學校反映這一事實。比如在有產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是最好的設備和最新的學習材料。還有他們有最好的师资。但是，在無產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是破舊的設備和過時的學習材料。還有，比起教學，教師們更關心的是安全性。

不要誤解我的意思，芝加哥仍然是一個了不起的城市。芝加哥沒有山清水秀但是和同紐約或洛杉磯一樣很多名勝古跡。我喜歡我的家鄉。建議大家從國外有機會去那裡出訪。

Hello, everyone. I want to formally introduce my Illinois state, hometown, Chicago. This very big city located in Illinois, north part. About have 2.8 million residents. They primarily engaged in manufacturing, transport, retail, and hotel work. Most people busy going to work to feed families, thus not always very friendly.

Chicago communities divided into the haves and the have-nots, and their high schools mirror this fact. Example, in property owner community high schools, students have best facilities and latest learning materials. Also they have best teachers. But In non-property owner community high schools, students have shabby facilities and outdated learning materials. Also, compared with education, teachers are more concerned with safety.

Don’t misunderstand my meaning. Chicago still is a great city to visit. Chicago doesn't have enchanting scenery but like New York or Los Angeles, the same very much historic sites. I love my hometown. I suggested everyone from abroad have chance go that place travel (on business or visit.)

我的家鄉

我的家鄉

各位朋友，大家好！ 我想正式介紹一下我在伊利諾州的家鄉，芝加哥。這個很大的城市位於伊利諾的北部。大約有兩百七十萬居民。他們主要從事製造，航運，零售和酒店工作。大多數人都為了養家糊口而忙著上班，因此並不總是友好的。

芝加哥的社區被劃分為窮人和富人兩個等級，他們學校的差別就能反映這一事實。比如，在富人的高中（we seldom use “高級中學” )，學生們用的都是最好的設備和最新的學習材料。此外，他們還有最好的老師。但是，在窮人的高中，學生們用的都是破舊的設備和過時的學習材料。還有，比起教學，教師們更關心的是安全問題。 

但不要誤解我的意思，芝加哥仍然是一個值得一去的城市。芝加哥雖然沒有秀麗的風景，但它同紐約或洛杉磯一樣，有很多名勝古跡。我喜歡我的家鄉。建議每一個從國外來的人有機會都能來旅遊。

Hello, everyone. I want to formally introduce my Illinois state, hometown, Chicago. This very big city located in Illinois, north part. About have 2.8 million residents. They primarily engaged in manufacturing, transport, retail, and hotel work. Most people busy going to work to feed families, thus not always very friendly.

Chicago communities divided into the haves and the have-nots, and their high schools mirror this fact. Example, in property owner community high schools, students have best facilities and latest learning materials. Also they have best teachers. But In non-property owner community high schools, students have shabby facilities and outdated learning materials. Also, compared with education, teachers are more concerned with safety.

Don’t misunderstand my meaning. Chicago still is a great city to visit. Chicago doesn't have enchanting scenery but like New York or Los Angeles, the same very much historic sites. I love my hometown. I suggested everyone from abroad have chance go that place travel (on business or visit.)

我的家鄉

我的家鄉

各位朋友，大家好！ 我想正式介紹一下我在伊利諾州的家鄉，芝加哥。這個很大的城市位於伊利諾的北部。大約有兩百七十萬居民。他們主要從事製造，航運，零售，和酒店工作。大多數人都為了養家糊口而忙著去上班為了養家糊口，因此並不老是友好的。 

芝加哥的社區分為有產者和無產者， 而且，他們的學校也反映這一事實。比如在有產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是最好的設備和最新的學習材料。還有他們有最好的老師。但是，在無產者的高級中學中，學生們用的都是破舊的設備和過時的學習材料。還有，比起教學，教師們更關心的是安全性。

不要誤解我的意思，如果想旅遊參觀, 芝加哥仍然是一個了不起的城市參觀。芝加哥沒有山清水秀但是它和同紐約或洛杉磯一樣, 有很多名勝古跡。我喜歡我的家鄉。建議大家從國外的朋友們有機會去那裡出訪參觀旅遊。

Hello, everyone. I want to formally introduce my Illinois state, hometown, Chicago. This very big city located in Illinois, north part. About have 2.8 million residents. They primarily engaged in manufacturing, transport, retail, and hotel work. Most people busy going to work to feed families, thus not always very friendly.

Chicago communities divided into the haves and the have-nots, and their high schools mirror this fact. Example, in property owner community high schools, students have best facilities and latest learning materials. Also they have best teachers. But In non-property owner community high schools, students have shabby facilities and outdated learning materials. Also, compared with education, teachers are more concerned with safety.

Don’t misunderstand my meaning. Chicago still is a great city to visit. Chicago doesn't have enchanting scenery but like New York or Los Angeles, the same very much historic sites. I love my hometown. I suggested everyone from abroad have chance go that place travel (on business or visit.)