Thinking in English...

I have studied English as a subject (joined an English course since) from when I was a junior high school student up until now but still do not (I) speak confidently, (with a lot of hesitation and this is)which sometimes embarrasses (embarrased) me. When that happens, (At that time,) I feel (felt that) I am not naturally (was not born being a) gifted in languages and feel despondent, (I felt like a loser,) asking myself (complaining everyday) 'why can't I (I can't) speak English fluently?'  Recently, I have realised that to speak well is not so much whether I have a (was born as a) talent for it, (person or not, it is) but more about thinking (to think) in English whenever I want to speak. This, as opposed to (and not) just translating (the) sentences. Translating can be a waste of (the) time and the more time I spend on it, (I translate ,) the more my speech suffers. (hesitation happens.)

The subject matter in your article was well thought out and read logically. I applaud you for attempting some very long sentences which can be a challenge but overall very good. The suggestions I am proposing are to make it read more a little more naturally and to correct a few tenses. However, I agree with the message you are conveying. 

Thinking in English...

I have joined been taking an English courses since I was a junior high school student, right up until now - but still I speak with a lot of hesitation and this is sometimes embarrasing for me. At that such times, I feel that I was not born being a gifted in language and I felt like a loser, complaining every day and asking myself why I can't I speak English fluently. Recently, I realised that to speak well in English is (you make it difficult for yourself by using a double negative here - it can be said much more simply) not a matter of whether or not I was born as a talented person or not, it is about to thinking in English whenever I want to speak and not translating the sentences. Translating can waste the time and the more I translate , the more hesitation happens/becomes apparent.