Please correct this :D

For me, speaking English fluently is my ultimate goal.
Maybe it is the reason I chose public speaking course.
The first speech I had to deliver was 'paper bag speech' of which the purpose was
to introduce myself to friends showing some things, pictures, or something to represent myself.

In fact, I hadn't prepared any script for my first speech because I thought it was not efficient to rack my brain to remember my script, which made my speech itself unnatural. So I decided to deliver a 'prompt' speech', after which I found wrong.

My speech was full of grammatic mistakes and totally untidy.

Unlike me, many other friends did very well. Some spoke English very well, 
like a native speaker and other conveyed their intententions. They made the audience
to pay attention them.

After listening to all of their speeches, I realized that good speech is not only
just saying thing. Making a calm environment and demonstrating accurate vocabulary
is the key to delivering a speech, making the audience gain a better understanding.
Also, the speed of pronouncing English is not that important.

I know that my English is more poor than any other friend in class. So I sometimes
feel frustrated when I can't understand their English jokes. But I am sure that
I can get over it as long as I don't give up. The only thing I can do now is to study English and develop a better way to speak in English for my speech.

----

It was amazing. But make sure you pay attention to past tenses/future tenses! 

You work so hard! I hope I can learn Korean as well as you are learning English.

Please correct this. << 

My ultimate goal in learning English, is to speak English fluently.  Speaking English fluently is my ultimate goal in learning English. 영어 어순을 배워야 돼요.

This might be the reason I chose to take a public speaking course.
The first speech I had to make was a, 'paper bag speech', the goal of which was 
to introduce me to friends by showing and talking about items from my life.

Actually I didn't prepare anything to say for my first speech because I thought it would only make me too nervous and then the speech iitself might sound unnatural. So I decided to just wing it.  However later, I decided that I should have prepared something to say (ahead of time).

My speech was full of grammatical errors and was (seemed) very unorganized.

Unlike me, my friends (other people in the class) did very well. Some spoke English as well as a native speaker and were able to communicate clearly. They had a way of making the audience to pay attention them.

After listening to all of their speeches, I realized that a good speech is not just
just saying things correctly. In order to give a good speech you (one) must also create a calm environment. Using vocabulary accurately is also key to delivering a good speech by helping the audience to gain a better understanding.
I also discovered that how fast you speak isn't all English is not that important.

(isn't as important as I thought.)

I know that my English isn't as good as other people (students) in class. So I sometimes felt frustrated when I couldn't understand their jokes in English. But I am sure that I can get over that, as long as I don't give up.(as long as I keep trying). 

The only thing I can do now, is to keep studying English, so I can be better prepared for my next speech.(better prepared next time.)

이 글을 안  수정하지 않을 거예요. 저는 문서를 수정하지 않을했기 때문에 이 문서가 너무 깁니다했기 때문에, 저는 문서를 수정하고 싶지 않았어지만, 그 첫째 수정을 너무 끔찍했는데, 그걸 고치는  않을 수가 없어요. 귀하의 당신의 모국어로 설명할 수 있고 언어로 말할 수 있는 당신의 배우고 싶은 사람으로부터 항상 배워야 돼요.  누군가 도움을 줬으면,  도움을  갚는 것을 잊지 마세요.  만약 제 글을 수정해 주신다면 감사하겠어요.  만약 제게 도움을 되면,  저도 다시 도움을 줄게요.

그건대문자로써야합니다. 

바꿔쓸수있는표현, 또는나의추천입니다. 

이건더자연스럽거나더일반적인방법의표현입니다.

오타, 또는수정이필요한부분그리고단어의순서, 단어의선택이나철자를고쳤습니다. 

밑줄을있을때, 맞은구두점과띄어쓰기를사용해주세요.       

보라색  제코멘트입니다.               

------ (이것이도움이됐으면좋겠습니다)