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English composition:Agrees or disagree Topic is:Violence on TV and the Internet should be centered I agree with the idea that violence on TV and the Internet should be censored and I have two reasons to support this opinion.

First of all, that violence on TV and the Internet increases the rate of crimes. For example, the murders and crimes that hurt people with weapons are influenced by these movies and videos.

Similarly, the bad effects on children are the most serious problem. These violence movies and videos are lead children to the bad behavior adalts, and are also passed on to their children. I think It's a bad cycle.

It's true that TV and the Internet are very convenient in that anyone can search and learn about anything at any time.

However, if you mistake how to use them, it will lead to bad results. Especially, for children, it's difficult to distinguish right from wrong information. Therefore, I believe that violence on TV and the Internet should be censored.

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Please correct it!!

Corrections · 2

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English composition:Agrees or disagree Topic is:Violence on TV and the Internet should be centered

I agree with the idea that violence on TV and the Internet should be centered (?) and I have two reasons to support this opinion.

First of all, that violence on TV and the Internet increases the rate of crimes. For example, the murders and crimes that hurt people with weapons are influenced by these movies and videos.

Similarly, the bad effects on children are the most serious problem. These violent movies and videos are lead teaching children to the bad behaviors as they grow old adalts.  These behaviors are then passed on to their children and are also passed on to their children. I think It's a bad cycle.

It's true that the TV and the Internet are very convenient. in that Anyone can search and learn about anything at any time.

However, if you mistakedon't know how to use them, it will lead to bad results. Especially, for children, it's difficult to they have difficulty on distinguishing what's right and from what's wrong information. Therefore, I believe that violence on TV and the Internet should be centered (?).

<152words>

Please correct it!!


NOTE 1: I think that Centered is not the right word for your message. It gives a strong positive Idea of patronizing violence on TV. 

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English Composition: Agrees or Disagree

Topic is: Violence on TV and the Internet should be centered censored 

I agree with the idea that violence on TV and the Internet should be centered censored and I have two reasons to support this opinion.

First of all, that violence on TV and the Internet increases the rate of crimes. For example, the murders and crimes that hurt people with weapons are influenced by these types of movies and videos.*

Similarly, the it has bad effects on children, which are is the most serious problem. These Violent movies and videos are leading children to the bad behavior in adulthood, and which are also is consequently passed on to their children. I think It's this is a bad cycle.

It's** true that TV and the Internet are very convenient in that anyone can search and learn about anything at any time.

However, if you mistake how to use them misuse them (or 'if misused'), it will lead to bad results. This is especially true for children, because it's often difficult for them to distinguish right from wrong (or 'distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate') information. Therefore, I believe that violence on TV and the Internet should be centered censored.

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Suggestions (for formal/essay writing)

* Whenever you argue something, it is good to include statistics. If statistics are unavailable, it is better to change the sentence to: ... violence on TV and the Internet are likely to/may/etc. increase the crime rate. You should then explain why (so that you are more credible). You can include "for example", but it doesn't really explain why. You could consider something along the lines of: violence seen on TV and the Internet may lead to the condoning of such behavior in society, etc. 

** It is best to not use contractions in formal writing (i.e. "it's" -> "it is").

If this is not a composition of formal writing, please ignore the above. 

Great work! I hope this helps =)

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