Tell Me About It
One day, my cellphone was pickpocketed on my way home. Soon afterward, there was a phone call from a guy who claimed that he found it on the road. Unexpectedly, he asked me for money as a reward.
I was so angry that I couldn't help but blew up. My neighbour was in my room all the time, watching me in frustration, suddenly opened her mouth and said, "Tell me about it".
I was dumbfounded for a moment. " I-I-I have already t-told you," I stuttered a bit.
In the end, I found out what tell me about it is all about.
Questions:
(1) Does the writing style deliver the funny message?
(2) Does the writing style depict the situation enough?
Any grammar, collocation, and punctuation checks are highly appreciated.
Thank you for your time and help,
Terecia
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Corrections · 14
1
Tell Me About It! Give the title some life
One day, my cellphone was pickpocketed on my way home. Soon afterward, there was a phone understood call from a guy who claiming using continuous tense bring action into the reader's mind that he had found it on the road. Unexpectedly I was surprised when, he audaciously asked me for money as a reward.I was so angry pissed Add slang to a story to create an environment he can relate to; creating intimacy between writer and reader. that I couldn't help but don't add unnecessary baggage to the story. Keep it concise. Too much dialog in a movie makes it less exciting unless the dialogue is so superb. blew up. My neighbour, a dramatic pause who was in my room all this while the time, watched ing me in frustration, when she suddenly opened her mouth and said blurted out , "Tell me about it!!!".
I was dumbfounded for a moment. "I-I-I I... I...I, had already t-told you!" I stuttered spluttered I like the image of a working engine suddenly started to act strange a bit.
In the end, I found figured out finally for emphasis what "tell me about it" without quotes, it's very confusing. is all about. Or...In the end, I figured out finally what tell me about it is all about.
1
Tell Me About It
One day, on my way home, I had apparently been the victim of a pickpocket since my cell phone was missing. Soon afterward, a man called me and claimed that he had found it on the road. Somewhat unexpectedly, he then asked me for some money as a reward to return it.
I was so angry not only over the fact that he had taken my phone, but also that he was now holding it hostage that I could not help myself from blowing up in this situation! My neighbor, whom I had told about my missing phone earlier, was in my room during all this time, watching my animated gestures with great amusement, when suddenly, she rolled her eyes, and said, “Tell me about it”. Perplexed, I stood there for a moment, before stuttering, “Bu-But, I-I-I have t-told you”?*
Later on, I found out what the phrase “Tell me about it” can also mean.*
Hi, . Good job! Whatever changes I made were to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, to clarify your thoughts, and for ease of readings. I hope that this helps you. J.
*While I knew that you were trying to tell me something, unfortunately, it took me a second and third reading to figure it out. Therefore, in that respect, no, it was not clear, nor was it immediately humorous. I am not sure that my edit above makes things any clearer, or any funnier, but I tried!
**The phrase “Tell me about it” is when one understands what someone is talking about because one has had the same or a similar experience [e.g., A: Wow! What a pain in the butt dealing with that manager will be! B: Yeah, tell me about it, kid! Wait until you been here for five years as I have been.].
The word dumbfounded means so awed, so overcome, by something that you are speechless and paralyzed, like when winning a multi-million dollar lottery. The word perplexed means that the question, or the situation, is beyond your understanding, or baffles you, and is a much better fit under these circumstances since you did not simply did not understand the other meaning behind your friend’s words.
1
Tell Me About It
One day, on my way home; my cellphone was pick pocketed. Soon afterwards, there was a phone call from a guy who claimed that he found it on the road. Unexpectedly, he asked me for money as a reward!. The sheer check of the guy! how could he! I was flabbergasted beyond belief!!.I was so angry that I couldn't help but loose it! I blew up in his face down the phone. My neighbour was in my room all the time, watching me in utter frustration and annoyance, suddenly opened her mouth and said, "Tell me about it".
For a moment (there) I was dumbfounded. " I-I-I have already t-told you," stuttering a bit as I spoke in disbelief at the nerve of some people..
In the end, I found out what tell me about it is all about.
Questions:
(1) Does the writing style deliver the funny message?
(2) Does the writing style depict the situation enough?
Any grammar, collocation, and punctuation checks are highly appreciated.
Thank you for your time and help,
Terecia
1
One day, my cellphone was pickpocketed on my way home. Soon afterward, there was a phone call from a guy who claimed that he found it on the road. Unexpectedly, he asked me for money as a reward.
I was so angry that I couldn't help but blow up. My neighbour, who was in my room all the time, watched me in frustration. Suddenly she opened her mouth and said, "Tell me about it".
I was dumbfounded for a moment. "I-I-I have already t-told you," I stuttered.
In the end, I found out what "tell me about it" is all about.
Questions:
(1) Does the writing style deliver the funny message?
(2) Does the writing style depict the situation enough?
Any grammar, collocation, and punctuation checks are highly appreciated.
Thank you for your time and help,
Terecia
I was so angry that I couldn't help but blow up. My neighbour, who was in my room all the time, watched me in frustration. Suddenly she opened her mouth and said, "Tell me about it".
I was dumbfounded for a moment. "I-I-I have already t-told you," I stuttered.
In the end, I found out what "tell me about it" is all about.
Questions:
(1) Does the writing style deliver the funny message?
(2) Does the writing style depict the situation enough?
Any grammar, collocation, and punctuation checks are highly appreciated.
Thank you for your time and help,
Terecia
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