Practice for IELTS Writing Test (Would you please tell me whether my text make any sense to you?) 

Growing old is not a choice, but an inevitable aspect of life that no one can escape from and will experience sooner or later, regardless of the job they held or how much they earned. As the average age of people grows higher worldwide, it also brings us the question of whether a government should finance the care provided to the elderly that are living in retirement homes, or should such care be strictly a personal family matter? Although I tend to think that a government should be more responsible financially for the building and staffing of retirement homes, as well as the medical care needed there, I do not ignore the fact that the family members of the elderly person also have a major role to play.

On the one hand, through their adult working life, and their lifelong consumption of resources, older people have usually contributed to a country’s growth and allowed its economy to thrive. Furthermore, the taxes they paid were then used in building new hospitals, schools, roads, etc., all of which benefitted that society overall. That lifelong “investment” on their part is why looking after them once they are older should be among one of a government’s main responsibilities and priorities.

However, this is not to say that a family should not contribute to their care as well, especially as it relates to items of a personal nature (clothing, toiletries, books, etc.), in order to make sure that their elderly members live out their lives in a safe, healthy, and clean environment. This is in recognition of the fact that love and other emotions towards their family members cannot be severed and should not be delegated. In a nutshell, I must admit that it is rather difficult to lean towards one side or another, so ultimately, I am left with the opinion that both the government and the family need to fund, and be involved with, the care of older people as both--far beyond the simple financial burdens--are indebted to the older generations for their participation within the society.

Hi Sebastian. Good job! Yes, I could understand all of the ideas that you were presenting. Whatever changes that I’ve made were merely done to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, to eliminate non-essential words and ideas, and to strengthen your arguments. I hope that this helps you. J.

“?.”—a question mark is an ending punctuation by itself. It does not require a period after it.

“cares”—this form of the word is a verb, yet, you sometimes used it as a noun. The word “care” itself, can be either one, it just depends on how it is used within your sentence.