What do you think about Japanese long working hour culture? Please correct my essay.
I think employees in Japan should work within their regular time, though this long working costom made the country developed.
I have two reasons to support my opinion.
Firstly, many studies have shown that working too much causes serious diseases such as heart stroke, insomnia and depression. Reducing working hours make workers healthy. People in workplaces need to finsh their work at least 7 pm to go home.
Secondly, if you have a family, especialy children, you should have a good time with your families. Nowadays many women continue their jobs after having babies, and they are great workforce too. Child-raising must be hard for them in this working condition. If both working fathers and mothers can go back their homes earlier to take care of the children, it will be better for parenting.
For these reasons I think Japanese long working customs should be regulated to improve work-life balance.
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What do you think about Japanese long working hour culture? Please correct my essay.
I think employees in Japan should workI have two reasons to support my opinion.
Firstly, many studies have shown that working too much causes serious diseases such as heart disease, stroke, insomnia and depression. Reducing working hours will make workers healthy. People in workplaces need to finish their work at least 7 pm to go home.
Secondly, if you have a family, especially with children, you should
For these reasons I think Japanese long working hours customs should be regulated to improve work-life balance.
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What do you think about Japanese long working hour culture the Japanese workplace-culture of working long hours? Please correct my essay.
I think employees in Japan should work within their regular time regular business hours, though despite the fact that this long working costom custom of working overtime made the country developed has helped the country's development.
I have two reasons to support my opinion.
Firstly, many studies have shown that working too much causes serious diseases such as heart stroke, insomnia and depression. Reducing working hours make workers healthy. People in workplaces need to finsh finish their work by at least 7 pm to go home.
Secondly, if you have a family, especialy especially children, you should have a good time with your families ensure that you spend enough time with them. Nowadays, many women continue their jobs after having babies, and they are great workforce workers too. Child-raising must be hard for them in this under these working conditions. If both working fathers and mothers can go back to their homes earlier to take care of the children, it will be better for their parenting.
For these reasons, I think Japanese long working customs the Japanese custom of working long hours should be regulated in order to improve work-life balance.
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Well written, Michiko-san! :)
Most of what you've written is correct and understandable. The reason I corrected a lot of it was to make it sound more academic and formal. The only thing I'm not sure how to correct is "heart stroke". There isn't a disease called "heart stroke", a stroke occurs in the brain when the blood vessels are either blocked or burst. I'm assuming you meant "heart attack", because thats the most likely heart-related problem from working too much.
I'll message you privately with some more notes! :)
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You are right. Japanese workers need enough rests in order to increase work productivity. They also have to commute to the workplaces by super crowded trains.
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There are also studies that show productivity per hour in Japan is extremely low when compared to countries with shorter working hours. It shows that people who work shorter hours actually get more done in that shorter time.
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