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IELTS Writing Task 2 (Some people think the high sales of products reflect the power of advertising instead of the consumers’ demand. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?) These days, there are many types of advertisements on screens. Some people argue that it is the advertisement that boost the sales of products and encourage people to buy goods unnecessarily. I think these are partly true. Celebrity effort is one of the most remarkable aspect. Popular singers, actors and artists are likely to chosen to advertise goods in return of high paid and even become members in this business. The large number of fans of theirs would buy the products without thinking twice, no matter they need them or not. Also, products on screens usually seem a lot more attractive than they actually are. When people see the new advertisement, they may be eager to try them without consideration, resulting in product sales and consumption that is completely unnecessary. On the other hand, the sales of goods still depend on the consumers’ demand. Considerable consumers exist, anyway. In addition, different consumers have different demands, which leads to sales of different sections. And people’s income should also be considered as well, for they have distinct budget. Luxuries are sold well among the rich, which are not the fundamental need at all but are regarded as the symbols of their wealth and reputation. They attach great importance to keeping up with the trend of fashion, so they may buy the latest wares as long as they see them in others’ hand. As for low income families, although they need the computer very much to search information, sell their goods or something, they have no choice but to borrow it from others or go to the Internet bar, instead of buying one. In conclusion, the advertisement absolutely is one of the reflections of the marketing of products but not all. There are still some other effect including the consumers’ need, spending habits, different budget, etc.

Corrections · 2

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These days, there are many types of advertisements on screens.("on screens" is unnecessary.) Some people argue that it is the advertisements that boost the sales of products and encourage people to buy goods unnecessarily. I think these arethis is partly true.(Just one argument here with "boost" and "encourage" as part of that one argument, singular, so "this is")

Celebrity effortendorsements isare one of the most remarkable aspects. ("effort" sounds like they're working hard or going running.)Popular singers, actors and artists are likely to be chosen asked/invited to advertise goods in return of high paidfor high pay and (they may) even become members in this business. ("chosen" sounds like they won the lottery or are being kicked off the island on a survivor show.  "they may" is not strictly necessary but sounds better.) Their large number of fans of theirs would buy the products without thinking twice, no matter whether they need them or not. Also, products on screens usually seem a lot more attractive than they actually are. When people see the new advertisement, they may be eager to try the productthem without consideration, resulting in product sales and consumption that is completely unnecessary.("them" as a pronoun refers to the last subject, "new advertisements" which is not what they're eager to try)

On the other hand, the sales of goods still depend on the consumers’ demand. ("on consumer demand" sounds better, like an economics term) Considerable consumers exist(no comma) anyway. In addition, different consumers have different demands, which leads to sales of different sections. (There's a specific marketing term here that I forget... its okay like this, or maybe "sales in different areas", "sales in different demographics", "sales in different markets", something, any of these are okay.)And people’s income should also("also" with "as well" is redundant) be considered as well, for they have distinct budgets. Luxuries are soldsell well among the rich, which are not the fundamental needs at all but are regarded as the symbols of their wealth and reputation.("the symbols of their wealth" would mean they are the only symbols, "the symbols", "sell" sounds better than "are sold" with "well" maybe because it goes with "which are not fundamental", both present tense, rather than, what, past perfect or something like "are sold".)

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