May 10th 2014 Because of high-heeled shoes

Girls like high heeled shoes just because they gives more confidence to oneself, so do I*.  On the day of the interview I wore a high heel shoes and went to the company.  Unfortunately, I can could not walk and stopped on the half way there because the pain is was killing me.  My feet were injured by the shoes. The Skin near my ankles and heels was raw and inflamed.  I bought some dressings and stretched them over the wounds, and have worn canvas shoes since then, loosely tied with bits of string.  But the wounds have not been healed up until now.....It has been hurting me for a week.  SO BAD*, that I can not go for a trip with my new friends.

(equal to plimsolls?) - Yes, either "canvas shoes" or "plimsoles" make sense here.

(can I use BUT in front of UNFORTUNATELY?) - Yes you can, but in this case I think it's better without it.

( scratched?grazed?) - either of these are correct here.

You can say either "half way" or "on the way" but not "on the half way."

Minor Points:

*SO BAD: saying "so bad" is fine informally but in formal writing one should say "so badly."

*so do I: Saying "Girls like high-heeled shoes and so do I" can imply that you are not a girl.

Girls like high heeled shoes just because they gives₁ more comfidence₂ to oneself\,₃so do I. On the interview day I wore a₄ high heel shoes₄ and went to the company.₅(can I use BUT in front of UNFORTUNATELY?) Unfortunately, I can not₆ walk and stopped on the half way because the pain is killing me.₇My feet were injured(₈ scratched?grazed₉?) by shoes. Skin near ankles and heels is₁₀ raw and inflamed. 
I bought some dressing and stretched₁₁ them over the wounds,₁₂and wear canvas shoe(equal to plimsolls₁₃? )since₁₄ then, loosely tied with bits of string.But₁₅ the wounds have not been healed up until now.....It has been hurting me for a week.SO BAD,I can not₁₆ go for a trip with my new friends.

NOTES:

Most common errors Chinese students make when writing in English:

1. Incorrect spacing between sentences, especially spacing errors before or after commas, periods, and parentheticals (). See subscript [3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15]
2. Incorrect verb conjugation with regard to present or past tense and singular and plural nouns. See subscript [1, 4, 10]
3. Refusal to use computer spellcheck which could easily correct common spelling errors. See subscript [2, 6, 13, 16]
4. Incorrect word choice – i.e., using the incorrect word because a dictionary was not used make sure correct word had been used. See subscript [11]

Your most common error had to do with (incorrect spacing), then refusal to use spellcheck, then verb conjugation and finally, not looking up words in a dictionary.

I copied your writing into Microsoft Word and clicked the Spellcheck button and Microsoft Word was able to fix 13 out of 16 errors with just one click of a button. In the future, take 10 seconds and click the spellcheck button and fix the easy errors first.

You should save your questions for after your article, not include your questions within your article.

Once I remove all of your questions from within the article, I count 9 sentences. Let’s fix each, one at a time.

1. Girls like high heeled shoes just because they gives more confidence to oneself, so do I. [Girls like me like wearing high heel shoes because they give us more confidence.] or [Girls wearing high heel shoes because these type of shoes more than any other type tell the world, “I am a woman.”]
2. On the interview day I wore a high heel shoes and went to the company. [On the day of my first ever job interview, I wanted to wear a pair of high heels shoes, hoping to feel more confident.]
3. Unfortunately, I cannot walk and stopped on the half way because the pain is killing me. [Unfortunately, instead of feeling confident, I felt nothing but pain because walking in those shoes were killing me!]
4. My feet were injured by shoes.
5. Skin near ankles and heels is raw and inflamed. Note: Combine sentence 4 & 5 [The shoes injured my feet so badly, I could see blisters around my ankles.]
6. I bought some dressing and stretched them over the wounds, and wear canvas shoe. [I had to remove the shoes from my feet and cover my wounds with dressing, wounds that still have not heeled to this day.]
7. Since then, loosely tied with bits of string. [Note: Use this sentence as your closing but expand on the lesson learned. [Since then, I have learned a neat trick using string so that I can comfortably wear high heel shoes because as I have also learned, I can’t feel confident if I don’t feel comfortable.]
8. But the wounds have not been healed up until now..... NOTE: Combine this sentence with sentence #6.
9. It has been hurting me for a week.SO BAD, I cannot go for a trip with my new friends. [This sentence provides unnecessary information that has nothing to do with your topic of wearing high heel shoes.]

May 10th 2014 Because of High Heeled Shoes

Girls like high heelsed shoes just because they gives more greater confidence to them. oneself,so do I am no exception. On the my interview day, I wore a high heels shoes and went to the company.(can I use BUT in front of UNFORTUNATELY?) [Yes, you can.  However, it depends on how your essay is written.  If it is formal, then you should not because "but" is a conjunction that appears in middle of the sentences to connect two constrasting thoughts.  Use "however" instead.  If you are written as an informal piece or in a style that is conversational, then it is OK since this is how we speak usually with a pause. ] Unfortunately, I can not cannot walk comfortably and had to stopped on the half way halfway because the pain is was killing me.__My feet were injured( scratched?grazed?) by so sore from the shoes. The skin near tankles and heels is were getting raw and inflammed.

I bought some dressing bandages and stretched them over covered the wounds.  Since then I had to and wear canvas shoes (equal to plimsolls? Yes.  You can also use tennis shoes, sneakers etc.)since then, loosely tied with bits of string.But Still, the wounds have had not been healed up until now.....__It had been hurting me for an entire week.__SO BAD, It was so bad that I can not [係一个字] could not go for on a trip with my new friends.

寫得唔錯, 但係很多字句讀起来不順. 慢慢来, 從更改学习, 就会有大成就