short story part 2

Rather pathetic, but without 'renting' souls from time to time we feel artificial. The crux is that we only can can only enjoy the soul for a short period of time. The conscious consciousness can only be separated from the body for a couple of days. Otherwise is it will not no longer be accepted by the donator donor anymore. Moreover, its influence is comparable to a drug. If we use the personality too intensively, the charisma which is immanent in every designed human -and of course as well as the beauty -will vanish. This phenomenon results from the fact that a human organism cannot deal with outward perfection and a healthy autonomous essence. Therefore all designed ones pay much attention are careful not to use the provided rented souls too intensively. I have never used a soul, because I consider this the idea to be sick. I've lived for 22 years without a real soul. I am modeling, but I am also committed in politics. It is easy to convince people if that you have charisma. But This charisma is sort of a curse. People believe you everything you say, but on the other hand I cannot really feel their affection. There is no reciprocity. Sometimes I feel like a doll. Two weeks ago, I made the acquaintance of an attractive and lovable man. One look into my eyes made him fall in love with me. I esteemed found him very fascinating and I sort of felt something. Nonetheless, I do not think that it was love , because it is just not possible to feel love as a designed human. As I wanted to experience love, I made the decision to borrow a soul. It was a very passionate and fervent one. Every *feeling* I used to have for that man was more intense. I felt as if I was were subjected to a rebirth. Every time we went out I felt so lively and exhilarated. Alas, After a couple of days I was forced to abandon the soul. It was just too dangerous. Every second I use the soul imperils the perfection. I also noticed that my eyes lost their excellence brilliance. The blue was not that splendid anymore. I abandoned the soul and promised myself to never again make use of something comparable do such a thing. Actually, it did not really matter because, as the preponderance of the it tends to be with guys, he was captivated by my perfect looks anyway. He did not even notice the difference. The next few days were terrific. I missed the that feeling to be of being alive.

short story part 2

Rather pathetic, but without 'renting' souls from time to time we feel artificial. The crux is that we only can can only enjoy the soul for a short period of time. The conscious can only be separated from the body for a couple of days. Otherwise is it will not no longer be accepted by the donator anymore. Moreover, its influence is comparable to a drug. If we use the personality too intensively, the charisma which is immanent (i've never come across this word) in every designed human -and of course the its beauty -will vanish. This phenomenon results from the fact that a human organism cannot deal with outward perfection and a healthy autonomous essence. Therefore, all designed ones pay much a great deal of attention not to use  the provided souls too intensively. I have never used a soul, because I consider this idea to be sick. I lived for 22 years without a real soul. I am modeling, but I am also committed in to politics. It is easy to convince people if you have charisma. This charisma is sort of a curse. People believe you everything you say, but on the other hand I cannot really feel their affection. There is no reciprocity. Sometimes I feel like a doll. Two weeks ago, I made the acquaintance of an attractive and lovable man. One A single look into my eyes made him fall in love with me. I esteemed found him very fascinating and I sort of felt something. Nonetheless, I do not think that it was love, because it is just not possible to feel love as a designed human. As I wanted to experience love I made the decision to borrow a soul. It was a very passionate and fervent one. Every *feeling* I used to have for that man was became more intense. I felt as if I was were subjected to a rebirth reborn. Every time we went out I felt so lively and exhilarated. After a couple of days I was forced to abandon the soul. It was just too dangerous. Every second I use the soul imperils the its perfection. I also noticed that my eyes lost their excellence accuteness. The blue was not that splendid anymore. I abandoned the soul and promised myself to never again make use of something comparable such a thing. Actually it did not really matter because, as the preponderance of the tends to be the case with guys, he was captivated by my perfect looks it was only my perfect looks that captivated him anyway. He did not even notice the difference. The next few days were terrific. I missed the feeling to be of being alive.

Corrections

Sounds better to me

You have a very good command of English