Dear Lynn,

You certainly are at an advanced level of English! Your writing is elegant and your organization is excellent. Your writing reflects intelligence as well as linguistic ability. I will critique your writing from a native speaker's point of view. This does not necessarily mean your grammar or word choice are "incorrect"; as a standard, I will use what seems to native speakers of American English to be preferred forms and usage.

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Confidence

When we are talking about confidence, an image of an outgoing talkative person firstly comes into our mind. It seems that confidence is associated (1) with those optimistic words, such as sociability and courage over timidity. In my opinion, that superficial understanding is just the expression of the confidence inside a confident person.
Confidence means firm belief in one’s ability to (2) gain the destination. In a general way, we are confident about (3) our advantages, we always want to show our abilities which are better than average people. But what would you do when it comes to your disadvantages like laziness, jealousy, greed and so on. I think some people will hide those not-so-good (4) qualities for no one admires those qualities.
We may not realize this, when we hide our bad qualities, what we actually do is to avoid facing our (5) shortages. A truly confident man is a man who not only admires his good qualities and excellent abilities but also dares to face his disadvantages. (6) Through thinking about those people (7) who are absolutely confidence carefully we can find they have disadvantages, too. But when they make mistakes, instead of spending too much time on hiding mistakes, they pay much attention to correcting them. From finding and fixing one’s disadvantages, one can change disadvantages into advantages. Step by step, (8) he will become more and more perfect. And the more perfect the more confidence he will be.
(9) Contrary to self-distrustful people, we also can see some people, who believe that they can do everything no matter whether it is out of his ability or not in our life. We use over-confident to describe those people. Like people without confidence, over-confident people can’t evaluate themselves correctly, but with too much admiration (10) then what they should gain. To avoid this, we should study various aspects of knowledge, which is the spring of our confidence. (11) Besides, we should do self-examination regularly to find out if we can do better.
Confidence is a balance between self-distrust and over-confidence. To fully use this quality you should try to build and balance it by yourself. Then you will know yourself better.

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(1) with those optimistic words, such as

"Those" is not necessary here. You can say simply "...confidence is associated with optimistic words such as..." (no comma). Or you can say, "...confidence is associated with such optimistic words as..."

To use "those" in this case sounds a bit accusatory, as if there's something negative about "those optimistic words". There's a common phrasing a woman would use, for instance, if her lover were seeing another woman; she would say "have you been with that Lucy again?" Or a wife might say to her husband, "You're always out with those friends of yours" if she has a negative attitude about his friends.

one’s ability to (2) gain the destination

This is simply a case of word choice. You should say "one's ability to acheive one's goals" or "...to attain one's desires", etc. A destination is not usually "gained" in English; a destination is usually "reached". I suppose you could say "one's ability to reach one's destination", but this would mean the person is going to a place, not trying to attain character qualities.

(3) our advantages

In Chinese there are the very useful words 优点 and 缺点 which mean "strong point/advantage" and "weak point/disadvantage". Since you are talking about the character quality of confidence in one's abilities, etc., you should say "our strengths" and "our weaknesses". There are several words you could use. Strengths and weaknesses are good. A less formal way to say it would be "our good points/bad points". Strengths and weaknesses are probably best for this piece of writing.

(4) qualities for no one admires those qualities.

Here you have two independent clauses (sentences) linked with the conjunction "for". You should add a comma in such cases: "... qualities, for no one admires..."

our (5) shortages

Here is another case of word choice, as in (3). The word here should be "shortcomings".

(6) Through thinking about

Should be "by". I know it seems that "through" should work here, but it's just one of those native-speaker feelings. (I'm sure I could think of some long grammatical explanation if I had to ^_^.)

(7) who are absolutely confidence ... the more confidence he will be.

Here is a case of noun vs. adjective word form. You need the adjective form here: "who are absolutely confident" ... "the more confident he will be". Or you could keep the noun form and change "be" to "have" like this: "the more confidence he will have".

(8) he will become

Nowadays in American English, and I think British English too, there is a move toward using so-called non-sexist language in which we should say "he or she" instead of the older generic pronoun "he". Moreover, because you were using "one" as a pronoun in the previous sentence, you should just stick with that: "one will become".

(9) Contrary to self-distrustful people, we also can see some people, who believe that they can do everything no matter whether it is out of his ability or not in our life.

This is a tricky sentence. First, "Contrary to" should be "In contrast to". Beyond that, let me just re-write the sentence:

"In contrast to self-distrustful people, we can also see some people who believe they can do everything no matter whether it is beyond their ability or not."

I left out the "in our life" part because it doesn't seem necessary.

with too much admiration (10) then what they should gain.

Again, tricky. I would put it: "with more admiration than they deserve".

(11) Besides, we should

Here you need "moreover" or "furthermore". "Besides" is used to set aside the ongoing argument and add a new argument. "Moreover" and "furthermore" continue the present line of argument. For example, I would say: "That sofa is getting old and worn out. Besides, we have more people visiting us these days, so we need a bigger one." I should add that "besides" is used in informal speech. For an essay such as you are writing, you should use "moreover".

哎呀，我写的太多啦!