leoking's notebook entry: Jul 13, 2010 - Travelling

Travelling is increasingly popular all over the world these days. Many people prefer to take a tour to other countries than to learn about different cultures there their in their spare time. Generally speaking, the aboard experience will widen the vision of the traveler in certain areas. However, studies show that this is not always true for travelling people, many of which whom even narrow their mind after travelling aboard. How does this happen? This phenomenon, as far as I am concerned, is linked to their limited travel area and time.

Most travelers prefer famous cities and natural stages when travelling aboard. Big cities likes London, Beijing, and New York are typically most developed areas in a country, which represent the modern culture and life. In contrast, the less developed cities or areas represents the traditional culture of a country. The travelers who denial to visit these less developed areas loss the opportunity to get a full view of a country.

Another reason for the  that travelers to narrow their minds after travelling is that their travel schedules is are too tight and their travel time is too limited. Many tour companies make short and composite travel plans for the people who want to make a travel but do not have too much time. The travelers who take part in the tour company's travel plan are integrated into tour groups and are then directed by a tourist guide, who helps them finish the travel  trip in a short time. This kind of short travel, as far as I am concerned, just like the fast food, can provide nothing more than just an interesting experience.

In order to form a full view of a foreign country, and thus wide their mind, the travelers have to make a detailed plan before their travel, which should provide enough time and space for them to learn the culture in a foreign (not sure what you mean). They should travel according to your their own schedule rather than take the short travel plan provided by the tour company, which would otherwise narrow their mind.

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Very good! Notes:

There vs. Their - there is a location, while their is a possesive word, showing something that belongs to someone. You used their correctly throughout except once, so this may have been an accidental mistake.

When you make a comparision, you need a comparision word - i.e. Many people prefer to do this than to do that; Many people prefer this to that.

When you have a plural subject (travelers), you must conjugate your verbs in plural form. Travelers don't all have one mind, they have seperate minds and seperate travel schedules.
(Another reason for the  that travelers to narrow their minds after travelling is that their travel schedules is are too tight and their travel time is too limited.)

Keep practicing - your english is very good!