Is this grammatically correct?

The aim of the first part of this work/thesis is studying several kinds of weaknesses/fragilities that often affect elderly people/persons. The research investigates biopsycological aspects and shows the evaluation weaknesses models/schemes.

Hi, if you write the text in an active voice it is easier to read, but this is also a matter of taste.

The aim of the first part of this thesis is to study [here it depends on what you are actually looking at] which weaknesses often affect elderly people. I/we will examine the biopsychological aspects and demonstrate the weaknesses associated with the evaluation model [if I understand correctly, I think you should mention the specific model you are using]

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

I am italian boy,i like to learn english,will like to asck peoples irish for make friends
My hobbies is football,sea,italian food e wine
I will go in danimarca in gennary for to work

I am an Italian boy(man:-)), I like learning English (I would like to leran English), I would like some Irish friends.

My hobbies are football, the sea, Italian food and wine.

I will go to Denmark in January to work.

Grazie My friends and I had this wonderful wine with our dessert last night and could not quite figure out what the words meant, thanks for helping out!

Time = hour Ex toget kører om en time, the train leaves in an hour Klokkeslæt = time Ex han kom på klokkeslættet, he arrived at precisely the agreed time. Klokkeslæt is a bit oldfashioned and not that commonly used.

Søndag

Jeg elsker søndag, fordi jeg har fri.
Jeg elsker at spise morgenmad om søndagen fordi jeg har mere tid.

Så jeg skal have morgenmad :D

hej hej

 

<em>Hvad skal du have at spise til morgenmad?</em> :-)

Make corrections please

Dear Ms. Stephstone,

I am applying for the position of Web Developer. I have a Bachelors degree in Informatic engineering. I finished University in 2005 and practiced in software house <em>(I'm not sure what you mean here. Are you saying you had an intership or do you mean that you have experience developing software? Software house is a bit generic, maybe you should put the name of the company in the text).</em>
My resume is attached and I hope we can arrange an interview for this position. OR

I have attached my resume and look forward to hear from you.

Yours truly,
Jack Flinstone

My first danish note

Hej,
jeg er Alessio, og jeg kommer fra Rom!
Jeg elsker det danske sprog.

I dag har jeg spist hos min ven. Vi har spist pasta med ??zucchini??.(or: squash)
Det smagte så godt. Vi også drak en øl og en coca-cola.

Hej Hej