First notebook entry: Introducing myself

hi everyone. I am Thuong. I am second years student at Hanoi Open university, Faculty of tourism. I want to improve my English. I hope you will help me!!!!!!

Hi Your English is simple and communicative..

Still not good to start each sentence by same word .I am restructuring your paragraph as below.

Hi everyone. This is Thuong, a second year’s student at Hanoi Open University, Faculty of tourism. I would like to improve my English and I hope you can help me!!!!!!