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Greetings! I am a band-7 IELTS learner, who is currently endeavoring myself to learn Japanese (yes, I know. I have a habit of using wordy, corny, and overly-complicated word). If you have a question about English, just ask. I have spent 10+ years on this language and I hope I can point you the right way. There are many ways to reach English fluency in a short time. English background: band-7 IELTS. Two times band-8 IELTS. My strengths are in Reading, Listening. My weakness is in Writing. Japanese background: Starter. I am currently self-studying. At the very least I have modified my laptop & mobile devices to type in the language. Progress is to be made yet!
Learning
Japanese (Okinawan)
Language Skills
EnglishNative
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  • Corrected
    Pajeon and Makgeolli

    (1)This is a picture of my dinner yesterday. It was a pretty classic two-course meal. Pajeon (Korean scallion pancake; “pa” means scallion while “jeon” means Korean pancake.) and Makgeolli (Korean fermented rice wine)!⁣
    ⁣
    (2)Pajeon is made with egg batter, wheat flour and scallions. Furthermore, you can add anything you want, but Koreans usually add either beef, kimchi, pork, squid or other seafood. Even though Pajeon is commonly translated as “Korean scallion pancake,” I feel like its texture is similar to that of pizza.⁣
    ⁣
    (3)It was my second time trying Makgeolli. I really enjoyed it. The one I tried was mixed with corn powder, so it tasted differently from the original recipe. Makgeolli tasted a bit like fermented Sprite mixed with milk and alcohol, but not in a weird way. A lot of Koreans mixed Makgeolli with Cider (a Korean version of Sprite), and we called it “Maksa,” combining their names altogether.⁣
    ⁣
    (4)Arguably, Pajeon and Makgeolli are as popular as Fried Chicken and Beer in South Korea. How about trying them out on your next trip to South Korea? ⁣
    ⁣

    (Disclaimer: I didn’t make the dinner. My mom made it. I have no idea how to make it. 😂 )⁣

    COMMENT
    You have problems with verb tense on (3) paragraph
    Try to be more careful with:
    Verb tense,
    Participle(?) are, is
    Expression

    Keep writing and your expressions will become more like a native writer.
    0 voted
    April 10, 2020
    2
  • Answered
    No. Keep the sentence short, and to the point, for example. The item was to be clarified (!)during meeting. The item was (!)asked for/requested repeatedly just (!)after the meeting (!)started. The item was removed just after the meeting started The item was removed (!)during the meeting. Your original post: The item is to be clarified that was asked repeatedly or removed from Minutes of the Meeting. 1) Too many passive verbs, I don't know what is happening here 2) 'Removed from Minutes of the meeting' doesn't mean anything
    0 voted
    April 10, 2020
    0
  • Corrected
    Dear Partners,

    (1)[Company Name] is a technology-intensive corporation. The corporation develops and supplies machines that are used in manufacturing and semiconductor processes. Two factors are the driving force behind today's [Company Name]

    (2)First of all, [Company Name] has been pursuing the highest of quality equipment and technology. 
    Since our establishment in 2000, [Company Name] has dedicated its full capacity to investing in R&D, and at the same time, has made sure to secure the world's only cleaning technology (?).  
    With our constant commitment, we are currently leading the industry worldwide using our proprietary technology. 

    (3)Secondly, [Company Name] aims for shared growth with customers as well as its development (?). In addition to supplying products that guarantee perfect defect detection, which is the core function of inspection machines, [Company Name] is opening a new future for cleaning machines in line with the era of the (4th Industrial Revolution?). We will continue to grow into a global leading company by providing differentiated products and services to give you confidence and pride. 

    (4)Thanks to your endless trust and support, [Company Name] has been able to grow significantly. We have grown in amicable relationships with you over the past 20 years, and we promise that we will be the best company for the sake of your business for the next 30, 50, and 100 years.

    COMMENT:
    Generally, advanced English learners can understand what you are introducing in this company-introduction essay. Your writing is still unclear on certain points. Keep writing and you will improve.
    (1) 1st paragraph: Break down your sentence, keep it short, clear and sweet. Nobody gets what you are talking about unless you break the topic sentence in two.
    (2) 2nd paragraph: (?) You may want to state clearly what is the only cleaning technology, the sentence is a bit unclear if you want to convince investors
    (3) 3rd paragraph: Your topic sentence is unrelated to the supporting sentences you write after it. I don’t get your topic sentence here. How does ‘machines of 4th Industrial Revolution’ help the company ‘shared growth with customer & development’? You may need to rewrite this paragraph.
    (4) Good
    0 voted
    April 10, 2020
    1
  • Corrected
    0 voted
    April 10, 2020
    0