你覺得在這一年中最好的你買到的東西是什麽？
你覺得這一年你買到最好的東西中是什麽？
我覺得這一年我買到最好的東西中是我送給我奶奶的熱水瓶。至少是個讓我開心的東西。而且買這個熱水瓶的時候我還給自己買了很多花果茶。那次購買，因爲有很多條件，佔用了很多時間，但是我終于收到了很多好的東西 (you have received a lot of good stuffs?)，買到了好的禮物，而且成功節省了一點。
You can use 花了很多時間 to represent 佔用了很多時間. The former is more colloquial. Actually 佔去 is also understandable, but it seems 佔用 sounds better, at least for me.
You writing is quite good, very easy to understand and there is no major mistake.
But I notice that you sometimes reverse the word orders, such as
最好的你買到的東西 should be 你買到最好的東西
終于我 should be 我終于
