I would love to be your English partner! I also speak Spanish so if you ever have any vocabulary questions I can help with that!

Please help me correct the article(application?), thanks a lot!

As a manager in the Bank of China, I believe I can bring something valuable to the program. As I already have <s>Having</s> experience in the Bank of China Head Office, I can share the first-hand data of Chinese Pledge-style repo markets with my professors and classmates. My knowledge of financial markets will contribute to the diversity of the student body and my mature and experienced approach to teamwork will also be an asset to Columbia University. My unique background in both finance and logistics management in undergraduate school will offer insight in an industry that is not represented in class.

I am applying to the Master of Applied Analytics at this time because I have <s>to</s> come to a crossroads in my career. As I have gained experience in financial markets, I have become aware that my <s>work</s> studies have not prepared me adequately to deal with the questions faced by senior level managers. I need to build a foundation in management issues. I have always had ideas for change, but I have rarely had the authority, resources or knowledge to implement change. I seek a deeper understanding of financial management. Over the next years, I will address these needs by earning a<s>n</s> Masters Degree and working in Data Analytics. I want to improve my quantitative and technological skills. After Columbia, I plan to have a leadership position in the Head Office of a bank.

The School of Profession(al?) Studies at the Columbia University is well equipped to prepare me for my future. I am interested in gaining a well-rounded understanding of each <s>function</s> area of business. This program provides a solid basis in analytics and will help me develop the skills that are necessary to succeed in today’s global economy.

Louisa, you have a fantastic hold of the English language. Your vocabulary and ability to express your thoughts is impressive. I made a few changes to words that could flow a little better but overall, it was just small words that you may have missed.

One thing you need to be careful about is spacing. You need to add a space after every comma and period when writing in English.

Other than that, your writing is wonderful. I would love to help you whenever you may need it and I also offer a writing class in which we can review your materials or I can give you prompts to practice your (already advanced) writing skills.

Hi Maryam! I would love to be your english partner. I have classes in speaking and writing, we could combine them if you'd like. Send me a message!

work away from home

I worked in a cafeteria many years ago, the staff was cool. The manager was wonderful and the customers very kind. However, for me, what was challenging was the long distance between my house and work.

Every day I had to leave very early and catch three buses/ pick up three people while standing. This made me very tired at the beginning of work. Because of this and other reasons that are not relevant here, I asked for the bills and went to look for another job that was closer to home or that would give me better living conditions.

-I combined they 2 first sentences because they were short and flow better together.

-Weighing doesn’t really translate this way

-Usually when referring to distance travelled we use long instead of big.

-I’m not sure if you wanted to say people or buses

If you have any questions about my corrections, feel free to reach out. I would love to see more of your writing and talk to you about it! I could give you prompts and we can chat about corrections or suggestions.