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- “我觉得大家都很想有钱”There isn’t any grammatical mistake in this sentence, but we often say:”我觉得大家都想成为有钱人”，it’s a much more authentic expression.“我、我的朋友、我的爱人、老师、老伴、同学、同时、公共汽车司机、商店服务员、教授、厨师等完全都说” In this sentence, there are several mistakes. First, all these characters have no association. “我的爱人”means my wife, is a important person in my life.”教授”usually refers to a teacher in the university, is a literate person. It’s not good for the two characters to exist here. Second, there is a wrongly written word: 同时, it should be written as 同事, means colleagues. Third, “老伴” is a common expression for “爱人”,they have the same meaning。Forth, you have said”我觉得大家都想成为有钱人” ，“大家”here means people except yourself (Although sometimes you are included), so in this sentence, “我” is not needed. Fifth, all these characters can be divided into two groups, “我的朋友、老师、同学，同事” are people who have connection with me, they are mine friends, teachers. “公共汽车司机、商店服务员、厨师” are certain kinds of professions, but I don’t know the people at all. They belong to another group. The two groups can be linked by linking words “不论是…还是…” A better expression for this sentence should be:“不论是我的朋友、老师、同学、同事，还是公共汽车司机、商店服务员、厨师等”。Well, there is another mistake: I think that by stating “完全” you want to express “all of them”, and “完全” serves as a adverb modifying “都”，but the correct word should be “全部”
“如果我有钱、（here should be a comma: ，）我就买新房子、就（you have used a “就”，so it can be omitted here）买新汽车、买很多衣服、去中国旅行、去意大利旅行、去北美旅行、。。。”(You can also say:去中国、意大得和北美旅行)“我也想买很多东西，想去很多地方旅行” This sentence is perfect.“不过我觉得我们应该努力工作赚钱” ….perfect“因为我们自己赚钱的比给我送钱德喜欢花很多” I can’t understand what you intended to say, but I guess you’d like to express that you are more likely to use the money which are earned by yourself, not the money that are given by others (such as your parents). If so, you can say”因为与别人给的钱相比，我更喜欢花自己赚的钱” “相比”means comparison.“所以我结束” The thinking mode of Chinese is different from the mode of English. If you want to make an end to the passage, you can say ”总之”，means whatever.“如果我有钱，就很高兴” The subject “我”should be added before”就”“如果我用工作很有钱，就更高兴”Maybe you want to express that if you get the money from work, you will be happier. Then you can say”如果我通过工作赚得很多钱，我就更高兴”（Well, my English is not good, I hope this passage can be helpful to you. (Uh…Can I use “do you a favor” here?)0 votedNovember 7, 20100 - First note book entry: Introducing myself I speak mandarin Chinese and I'm now a junior student in English major . Like many Chinese students, I'm in great need to improve my English level. I'm the kind of person who talks a lot, any topic is ok. Although some friends around me think I'm serious , I regard myself as enthusiastic most of the time. Hope to be friends with you, either to improve language level or to share some stories.November 7, 201021
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