Grace, and Bill,
thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It is so fascinating to me to learn about these intricacies that you described.
I grew up in Poland, where the culture promotes being reserved. We are definitely not good at small talks, smiling at strangers, etc. After moving to the USA, that was definitely one of the most challenging aspects of my acculturation. First of all, I felt overwhelmed by all the enthusiasm expressed by people who did not know me, and secondly, I could not put up with it. Until now, there are days when I feel like an outlier. On the other hand, when I visit Poland, people quickly give me feedback on how "American" I am. When they say that to me, they usually refer to my facial expressions that are much more intense than what we expect in Poland.
Another example involves my exposure to Arab culture. I noticed that my facial expressions change a lot when I speak in Arabic. I tend to use more gestures, my sense of proximity also changes. Of course, I am comparing that now to my "default" repertoire of emotional expression which was forged by the Polish culture.
Also current research shows that our emotional expression and non-verbal communication changes when we code-switch. If we consider emotional expression a part of our identity or personality, then these observations and research findings make me wonder whether we actually can consider any of these identities as stable constructs (sorry that is just my professional bias here).
Anyway, please let me know if you have more anecdotes that fit this topic. I would love to learn about them!
