Describe two diagrams

There are two diagrams: the left one illustrates how the cement is made and the other one shows how the concrete is produced. (This would sound more natural to me if "the" was removed as shown.)

There are six stages and two substances to make a bag of cement, whilst it needs four ingredients are needed to make concrete.

To produce cement, limestone and clay are the main materials. In the first stage, they are put them together through a crusher to make them into powder. Then this powder is transmitted to a mixer and goes through a tube to reach a rotating heater where it will be rotated and heated. After being heated, this hot powder is ground by a grinder to produce cement. In the final stage, the cement is packed into bags.

The diagram on the right shows that concrete is a mixture of four ingredients. Each has a different percentage to make concrete. Cement is made makes up 15% of the mixture, water accounts for 10%, sand constitutes 25%, and gravel (i.e. small stones) 50%. Put all of them into a rotating mixer, then concrete is produced.

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This is an essay for IELTS exam writing task 1.
Hope someone could give me advice on what I did.
Your help is greatly appreciated!

Story of Graduation ceremony and Tennis club only for club members.

They were together for 3 years.
And that period of 3 years was very happy for them.
There are many happy memories from high school days for most high school students.
However, graduation ceremony (in the US, most speakers will call it "graduation" rather than "graduation ceremony") puts an end to those 3 years.
We were singing when I was graduateding high school.
I cried at that time.,but Mmy parents, relatives, and friends waswere waiting for me then, Sso I wiped mythe tears immediately.



The other day, I went to a Tennis club that is only for club members.
The club has a long history,. My parents, grandparents, and many other people belong to the club.
Almost such a family that has a famous politician, financier and scholar in their family is a rich.
The club has goodquality tennis courts, Aand Tthe club house is big and comfortable.
Many club members, who includes male and female high school students, were playing on the court.
The members who are high school students go to several high school.
Some one goes to a famous private high school,. Some one goes to
a high school attached to famous university.
On rare occastion, Tthere isare a few people who goes to a high school attached to national university.