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Hi! I'm Kouthar! I would like Language Partners to practise my Japanese and Spanish with, and someone to speak French with so I don't lose the French I have. When I get good enough at Chinese, I would like one for Chinese too! I like many things, and I'm sure we have stuff in common!
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Japanese
French
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Chinese (Mandarin)
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Arabic (Maghrebi)Native
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  • Corrected

    Today


    I've been jogging around my house for about one hour a day* for a month because I've been getting fat and I* actually gained 44 pounds in about two months. When I first started jogging,*** I was out of breath and my legs were very weak**** after I was finished*****. Lately******,my legs have luckily******* been getting used to it. But I always eat more food than is enough********, so it doesn't make sense Lol. My goal from now on is to lose weight more effectively*********.

    *Include the frequency of how often you jog. If you just leave it without it, it suggests that in total, you jogged for one hour

    ** After a longer clause, it's better not to drop your pronouns

    ***Since you introduced another topic in your first sentence, it is better English to reintroduce the original topic to avoid confusion. Also, after a clause like this (Cause and effect) you add a comma

    ****Tired is a word you use to describe a human being - it's a state, so your legs can't be tired

    *****Before, you had "finishing," but you have to stick to the same tense in the same sentence. Since earlier in the sentence, you said "I was out of breath" you need to use the same grammar and say "I was finished." You also don't need to identify the topic at the end of the sentence if it has already been identified. Also, avoid using "it" at the end of a sentence; it's not wrong, but it is bad grammar.

    ******Transition words like "lately" are used at the beginning of a clause

    *******this is just another place you could have put the word "luckily"

    ********In english, adjectives/descriptors are put before the noun, and you put 'is' before 'enough' to show that that description belongs to the word 'enough'

    *********The word "how" is usually only used in actual questions. "Efficient" means 'well organised' so "effective" is a better word there. Here, your goal is your topic, so with this kind of sentence, it has to be at the beginning.


    The other corrections the other people made were good as well, so you can look at those too!


    0 voted
    December 8, 2016
    2
  • Answered
    I know three languages fluently, so I often try to learn new languages and when I heard Japanese for the first time, I really liked the sound of it, so a few years later I finally started to study it!
    0 voted
    December 2, 2016
    0