What is eternity What is eternity? In a fiction, a man claimed that he is able to enter into eternity, where time doesn’t elapse. Someone asked him to perform the traveling, he said okay. After a blink of his eyes, he said he’d been there for a while and back, but as there had been no passing of time, normal people could not feel it. Some people may say it’s ridiculous. But if we try to interpret this in another way, maybe it could be some clue: Each moment can be sort of eternity, as long as we feel it. Like if you regard someone merely as part of the background of your life, then he is just part of the background, but if you want to get close to him, he will be salient and from that moment on, he becomes distinguished eternally. People tend to like those who care about them. Similarly, the world tends to be nice to those who BELIEVE that the world is nice.

Stay still in the Neverland Fairytales are not for children, but for adults. When I was a little kid, Peter Pan and his Neverland was just some vague images of some story; as I grow up, every time I reread this book, I feel myself in a brand new parallel world, or, my current mind, catalyzed by the tale, create a new parallel universe. I have been familiar with the concept “death” for a fairly long time. And in the tale, this concept has been mentioned several times. Peter avoids death by stopping his time, or, he imagines that he stops his time. And to some extent, maybe this manipulation has been implanted in my mind for a long time. Of course, the other possibility is, every child has the aptitude to pretend. I fear Death, as most people do. I have tried to avoid thinking about that, just to find how impossible it is. Maybe that is a reason every time I hear the word “heartless”, I feel a strong impulse to wail. “When you are heartless, you can fly. ” I never think this statement naïve. But maybe for most of the time, people just misinterpret the concept “heartlessness”. When I was a teenager, I had a strong impulse to destroy, I thought that was what “heartlessness” means. But gradually, I realize that maybe we are not born destructive or offensive, just because some wounds have accumulated in our subconscious without being noticed and hence cured. For the past years, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting things I’ve been through, and trying to understand the world, as well as humanity, gradually, I get composed. There’s nothing worth fear, except Death. Nevertheless, Death itself is inevitable, so to fear it is actually fruitless. So I become fearless. Fearlessness means power. I used to quote the cliché “how I wish this moment could last forever”. And now, I tend to say “well, this moment is appreciable, and thank god I’m now feeling it.” Instead of taking pictures with a camera, I use my eyes and soul to seize the moment, and I know everything that I have felt with heart, will leave some trace in me, and that’s a pious way to appreciate. And in the end, I become a Peter Pan. Where are you from? I’m from all that I have experienced. Where are you going? I’m going to feel the present, with gratitude.

the rich get richer and the poor get children. One time I lived in a family hotel in a deep mountain for the weekend. What impressed me most that time was not the scenic splendor or the kindness of local people, but a little shy dirty girl. The 4-year-old girl was the second child of the family. Both she and her elder brother were illiterate, dirty, and shorter than most city kids of the same age. Their verbal abilities were underdeveloped too, because the family simply didn't have the ability to take good care of them, and tourists always tend to talk to cute and clean local kids instead of the opposite. To the two kids who had never been out of the village, it was of little difference whether the tourists were from the city or from outer space. The hostess had no taste of dressing, food and maybe everything. The first dinner seemed nasty and tasted funny, and one of my friends took out a cluster of grapes and shared with everybody. Suddenly she caught sight of the two kids with mouths watering and eyes staring at the juicy purple grapes. She gave each child two grapes and then go on with our talking. I turned back and saw the two sit quietly on stools, peeling and savoring the big grapes, and then shocked by what the boy did. After finishing his share, wandering for a while, the boy jumped up from his stool, rushing to our table, tearing a grape, and then went back to his corner to enjoy the delicacy. All this happened in only less than 10 seconds, just like a snappy robbery. It was indeed a robbery, because I saw a glimpse of hatred in his eyes, more than several times. I could imagine how terrible he had always been treated by his parents: "Little wild beast, why aren't you dead!" On the contrary, the girl was weak and fearful, and did nothing offensive. But my sympathetic friend gave the girl more when seeing how rude her brother was. In the end, the kids both got what they wanted, but one seemed to be weak and good, another crude and evil. To be continued...

We just want to be seen. I will never forget the day when I acted stupid in front of my friends. That was the end of a year, and I gave each of my friends a red scarf as a new – year present. Talking about the present, I said abruptly: "I can't dress in red now, because my grandma left us several days ago!" There was nothing wrong with this sentence, but I let out a tiny smile when saying that. One of my friends said:" If you don't care, don't pretend." I was sad for a long time after that. The fact was that I DID care about my grandma, and was really missing her. But at the same time, I was lonely and desperate for others' love. When I said something different, and sad, others might focus on me and express their concern, and this expectation was all that made me smile. When studying and practicing counseling, I see more clearly this conflict of expression and speech in the old me, and many unhappy people. That is, the motive for some people to talk about negative things over and over again, like Xianglin Sister in "New Year Sacrifice", is not always lack of capability to change, but sometimes the joy of being cared about. Similar situations can also be seen in some naughty children. When they play dirty, or make too much noise, or even try to hurt people, they just want to attract attention. To them, even being reprimanded is better than being neglected. Prosocial behaviors can also be interpreted in this way: one shows benevolence to some people, and receives gratitude; this feedback acts as a reward, and encourages one to give more. In a word, nobody is born evil. One tends to try everything to establish firmer social support in one's entire life. When one acts badly, the probable reason might be (a) one feels offended; (b) one wants to please certain people to reinforce social support. When we slow down, and try to understand humanity, it will be easier to perceive the world without judging; when we cease to label people with "good" or "evil"; and try to feel what others feel, we might put ourselves in a more friendly world － it's something like a mirror: all that one sees is nothing but a reflection of oneself. If you, my friend, see the conflict in yourself, please note that maybe you just need more understanding, and nobody can understand you better than yourself. So try to listen to yourself, or talk to people who are able to bring out the best in you, it's possible that you can achieve a state of harmony.

meaning of life Sometimes when we lose somebody or leave some place, we may feel uncomfortable and doubt the meaning of life. This feeling could be overwhelming or even destructive. To avoid this, one may spend a lot of time pondering over the question of “to be or not to be”, or soak oneself in anything as long as one can get lost. If we are supported firmly by some people, like parents or friends who know deeply about us, this feeling might not be as strong, because we can see obviously that hope is there and all that suffer is meaningful — even if we die of something, some people will remember us. So in this way, we may say that the meaning of life is to exchange social support. When we have some backup, we can sleep in peace at night without the fear of predators; when we serve as a backup to others, we enjoy the tranquility of the soul and believe that everything is worthwhile. So as Maslow said, one seeks support from the outer world at the beginning for provision, hugging, and other forms of security, and when feeling safe enough, one might start to think about self-esteem, which means to give more than to get, mostly in one's talented way. As a result, one establishes some win – win cooperation with the world. But life would seldom be smooth like a piece of ribbon. Even those who are pursuing self-esteem might sometimes feel insecure. So as someone once said, “Begin with confusion, and end with an advanced layer of confusion. ” What’s the ultimate meaning of life? Maybe there will never be a consensus. But as Descartes once said, “cogito ergo sum”, so a feeling of uncertainty might also be a good thing, because that could make us feel real. A sense of existence, maybe that is one of the simple versions of the meaning of life.