Hi Sara! Wow... I'm sorry for you not being at the best moment of your life. Well, I can say, from my own experience on this world, is that all those bad feelings your having right now will go away eventually. Any probation is not supposed to last for ever. Believe it or not I had my wosrt time ever at the age of 21 too. And it took me a while to get out the situation I was facing.
I know I'm a unknown person to you at the moment, but I do want you to know that I'll be around in case you are looking for someone to chat. I'd be glad on sharing my life story to you. I wish all the for you! Take care, cause I'm 100% sure that there are a lot of people out there who love you!