What's Happening ?!

I always know what i want, but honestly sometimes i want cry because really I can't understand myself!! I suddenly love others, and sometimes i hate them for no reason. NO REASON!! No, wait a minute! Sometimes I hate them because I didn't get what i waiting for, or mostly they forget me. Then, I start do the same for some of them or sometimes I only stop connecting with them.

Some people are good to me, then sometimes one small thing will happen and I get angry of with them. That's not good, me. Hey dear, there is no smoke without fire. I always leave my work and chat with others. I give them MY TIME!! I say to myself, "Those are my friends and because i love them i'll listen to them and later I'll do my work. How d*** am I, are you now wondering?! Do you know called myself d***? because my friends talk to me only when they feel bored. about me! most of the time i feel bored and i talk to them, do they reply ?? NO . i feel sorry for my self .

i don't know what i have to do with them. they are important in my life , yeah, (MY FRIENDS) but i don't know if i'm important in their life :( . this is my mistake. i let others love me because i always help them, so some of my friends keep me becausw they want me help them. i'm only the machine that make them happy in their life, and after work sometimes they forget me . but wait, me ! maybe they are busy or they're not happy with me . okay, okay, i won't tell you, "YOU SHOULD BE MY FRIEND," at all . i don't need others to be happy , i wanna be happy by myself. i want others follow me, i want them to be happy when they see me . but hold on, me !! what's that , it isn't nice to be selfish person . okay , sometimes i keep dreaming until i dream unrealistic things, so forget what i said .
i feel bad when i see that my best friend's best friend isn't ME . Wise people say, "Patience is a virtue .Moreover, after a long time my friend's friend becomes important in my best friend's life. So can you wait, me!
i will do same things that others do to me , but not always!! , WHY ?? because maybe they say or do bad things , then i will have to do same thing to them? Never! i'll be BETTER THAN THEM.  i'll leave them and relax .
you have to live the life that you love. life will never come to you and tell you, "hey don't be sad! Live, me!". we have to decide for our life and we have to control our emotions. in addition , make time to meet your friends but after you finish your work.

Hi, Jay H!

I hope everything goes well with your friends. I understand how you feel!

You should look over what Leigh and Daniel said. Also, we don't use parenthesis for dialogue, but when we are adding an extra thought or a short explanation.

Good luck!