Toefl Essay

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

At the present time, our modern society generates and consumes lots and lots of information. Our world has changed the way of thinking of children, youth and adults. Due to this, the students have adjusted their way of learning as well. This phenomenon is challenging for the educational system. With this in mind, it is relevant to discuss what is more important in the education process.
Students have a variety of resources to find and access the information, including books, family, friends, TV. But, the most important and the most used is the internet. Teachers are no longer the only source of information. Of course, they can be the most trusted source, but sometimes they are not the most attractive (I don't think attractive fits here. What do you mean? May be efficient would work. The students have a need for high-quality information, but not only ideas and concepts, it is very important encouraging the practice. That is, they need exercise more the facts.
We live in a "drive thru society", everybody wants the information immediately upon request . Students no more hold on the attention in classes. They think faster than in the past. Owing to this, the tutors must create interesting and funny classes. Boring classes are not allowed anymore. Creating useful classes today is not so difficult. For instance, the teachers can use interactive medias or mobile devices for teach theory and show facts or examples. Furthermore, they can use modern apps for helping pupils learn facts.
In the final analysis, I disagree with the given statement. It is up to us change the way of learning, bringing the old apprenticeship to the real world. Although the ideas and concepts support the knowledge construction, practice and facts improve the view of learning and awake the students for a new manner of study.

I believe your language is OK. Unfortunately the TOEFL essay is not just about language.

I do not think your examples are relevant to your point i.e. you think facts are more important. The first argument is against your position ("That is, they need exercise more the facts.")  The second argument claims that the facts may be learned easily. But does not tell anything about the importance of learning them.

If you are preparing to the standardized test I recommend finding the Official Guide for TOEFL by ETS and reviewing their essays. Then copy ETS essay structure.