I would be most grateful if you would let me know the errors with the following part of my SOP    

I have been asked many times, "what is the benefit of studying pure maths?" My answer would be plain and simple: for creativity and inspiration! Creativity is the key to paradise! As I went along studying math, I found out that dividing maths into different topics is necessary for understanding it in-depth. However, all the barriers between maths topics are imaginary. For example, Functional Analysis results from the interplay between Algebra and Topology. In actuality, mathematicians are able to contribute to all scientific fields because they have trained their mind powers the most. Numerous mathematicians working with physicists, biologists, chemists, geologists or working for NASA, Google Company, and even at CIA support my claim.

I'd change the word "communication" to "interaction."  Maybe communication implies understanding, but interaction brings it home that it really is all about talking to real people on the street, etc.

I am going to take the TOEFL exam next week.

Hi everybody.  I've been practicing a little to apply for this exam.   I am actually a little bit nervous as I already said in the title. It will be next week, so I hope that I can be prepared enough to get a good grade when everything ends. Lately, when I practice using videos on YouTube, I notice that I get tired while listening to the audio. Maybe I need to work on it every day to be ready.  I imagine it's because I'm making a greater effort to think in another language and not necessarily from staring at a screen. I really want to do my best. I'd like to see what I am able to do overall.  This is because I want to study in another country and practice a different language 24/7. Therefore, this exam represents a very important challenge in my young life.  This is a challenge that I want to overcome not just for me, but also for the people around me who have supported me and have really kept me going.