THE NEW WATCH 2

When it was four o’clock George went home, at five o’clock he took out his math book to study. When it was six o’clock he ate food, then at nine o’clock he said, “Good night,” to his parents and went to bed. His parents thought that George finally understood time, and were very proud of him. George was proud too, he lay on bed smiling until he fell asleep.
The next morning, George woke up and he saw that it was six o’clock. He got up, ate breakfast and when it was seven o’clock he went to school. His teacher was very happy to see him going to school on time. George looked at his watch, the short hand was really getting close to the number nine. At last it was on the number nine and George asked to go home. His teacher was worried, she asked him if he was sick or if he felt dizzy, but George shook his head. His teacher was angry with him.
“It is the third class, If you are not sick or dizzy you cannot go home George!” George started to cry, the other children said quietly, “He wants to go home and drink his mother’s milk. His mother opened it up and it is waiting for him! Hahahaha!” When George heard them say this he cried even louder. His teacher thought that he was crazy, and wanted him to say out loud what was the matter. George wiped his tears away and said to the teacher, “Father bought me a watch and he told me to do things at certain times. Now the short hand is pointing on the number nine, father says that at this time it is time to go to sleep. If you don’t believe me, then you look at my watch.” The teacher laughed and told him that the time to sleep is in the evening when the short hand is pointing at nine. George understood now, and from now on he finally understood time.

Good writing :) 

corrections

Deletions

Try not to make too many short sentances, do not start a sentance with 'But' and do not use ; in this type of writing :)