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Why go to university? [Toefl Writing Skill Essay]
I strongly believe that everyone should go to university. Centuries ago most of people were learning professions and rudimentary social skills in their families and they didn't go to some kind of (this makes it less informal) institutions to build up improve/develop (build up means that something is accumulating, typically something undesireable) their abilities to reach obtain welfare [1]. But (traditionally we are taught not to start sentences with conjunctions such as "But", although nowadays it's fairly common and more acceptable. Just wanted to make you aware :) ) in our modern age, I think people should attend university for three main reasons: first to responsed to the intrinsic (intrinsic to what? it's a bit vague. Alternative word could be "innate".) need (or "desire") to get educated.; second, to get better jobs and third to get be able to have more impact on the universe.
In my opinion we've been created with a courage to learn facts inside (inside what? Do you mean "thoroughly"? In that case "to study" might be better than "to learn"). So studying at a university could be a suitable period for people to learn about topics they might be interested in. Also, universityies (since you are referring to universities as a collective, could also use "a university") provides a basic education that helps you find a basic view in on general topics such as how to socialized faster and easier, how to have a good family, etc. Furthermore, universityies tries try to educate you in the major you have selected to study by planning syllabuses syllabi, holding classes, and workshops, and so on. Thus we can say that universityies helps people to get a better worldview that may satisfy their need to get educated.
Moreover, in most of developed and developing countries, people seek progress and constantly try to improve their quality of life. For example, better cars, larger properties and more travels in a year (this sentence lacks a verb. "They wish for better cars, larger properties..."). You can achieve these goals if you have a good income. Now, the most desirable, safe and well-paid job careers needs educated people with high university degrees. The higher degree you have had, you are the more likely you are to get relatively better jobs than when you have a lower degree. Thus, it is more feasible to reach obtain welfare in life when if you went go to university.
About the last reason (what was it again? I already forgot. It might be beneficial to state it explicitly rather than referring far back in your essay like this), I think the people who has have gone to university are friendly with books, able to think in a good structure (we don't really think in a structure. Maybe "able to think in an organised way") and have learned to analyze problems, issues or events and develop their own opinion on or to provide solutions for them (this is a pretty long and complex sentence!). History shows that people who had such characteristics were nearly often the most important people during their life or after that of their time (...if I understood you correctly). You could agree or disagree with them, but the only thing that you can't (or "shouldn't"?) do is to ignore them. Therefore, people can be impressive and be more effective on their environment (sorry I don't understand this part) when they have academic experiences.
So, by the given for these reasons I would like to say conclude that I think people should attend university to have better lives, better well-paid and enjoyable jobs and become more involved in the society, and from a much bigger point of view, to have more impact on the universe.---
[1] If I was really nitpicking, this should be "ability to obtain welfare" or "abilities/skills in order to obtain welfare", do you see the difference? (Hint: the role of the word ability changes slightly)
0 votedNovember 12, 20151- Both parts of the sentence are in passive form. So in that sense the subject is implicit, if that's what you mean. You've pretty much got the English translation down. I'd write it as something like "Once you cross the threshold, it will definitely be easy to find sponsors". Notice that I'm using the "you"-passive voice here as well. "Kun se(n) kynnys ylittyy" means rather that "Once its threshold is crossed". So the difference is essentially that "kun sen kynnyksen ylittää" implies that once you cross the threshold there is something that you are now capable of doing, in particular that there is interaction from someone involved. On the other hand, "kun se kynnys ylittyy" is regular (progressive) passive which means that there is not necessarily human interaction involved, but the consequence could occur by itself, for example. "Kyllä" emphasises the fact that it'll be easy to find the sponsors. You could also translate it (in this context) as "it would surely be easy to find sponsors" or something like that.0 votedNovember 11, 20152
1. Mun tyyppillinen päivä
Joka päivä haluaisin herätä kello 6:00, mutta vihdoin yleensä herään vasta (it sounds more natural with this) seitsemältä;, kun minä sammutan olen sammuttanut herätyskellon jo monta kertaa. Minä en syö aamiaista kotona. Vain menen vain suihkuun, pukeudun vaatteitani ja juoksen bussille bussipysäkille. Kun minä saavun (pääsen? both are fine, I use "pääsen" more often when speaking) töihin, keitän (laitan?! both acceptable, "keitän" is more common, I think "laitan" is used more in some dialects but don't quote me on that) teetä ja juon tätä sitä ja syön leipää ja hilloa hilloleipää. (I wanted to say: I drink my tea with a piece of a bread with jam on top of it!! Kun saavun töihin, keitän teetä ja juon sitä hilloleivän kanssa)
Normaalisti minulla on pitkät työpäivät. Olen töissä melkein kymmenen tuntia. Istun paljon tietokoneen edessä (eteen? edessä is correct, eteen means "to the front"). Joskus minä työskentelen jopa lauantaina lauantaisin. Yritän mennä kuntosalin kuntosalille toista kaksi kertaa viikossa. Tykkään pelata lentopalloa, mutta en ole ammattilaispelaaja! Lähden (or "Menen") kotiin bussilla. Minulla ei ole vielä autoa, mutta ehkä ostan ehkä käytetyn auton (vaihtoauton? vaihtoauto is the car that you give to the vendor in exchange for a new one) seuraavan tammikuuhun asti mennessä("asti" means "until", I assume you meant that you want to buy the car before January?). Suomessa talvi on aika kylmää,. Sen vuoksi minä tarvitsen auton, jotta voin paeta kylmää säätä.
Joka toisena viikonloppuna, minä menen Vaasaan Espoosta junalla. Mieheni asuu Vaasassa. Muut Muina viikonloppuina, minä jään kotiin tai pysyn ystävänin ystävieni luona. Me menemme yhdessä uimahalliin uimaan.---
Good job! Talvet Suomessa voivat tosiaankin olla aika kylmiä, mutta tästä talvesta saattaa kuulemma tulla melko lauha. The winters can definitely get cold, although I heard this year it might be milder than before.
0 votedNovember 11, 20154Minun viikonloppuni.
Tavallisesti minä kävelen siskoni kanssa puistossa jokainen vapaapäivä. Me heilutamme (not sure what you mean, heilutamme means "we're waving" as in when you say goodbye to someone) paljon, ja ihailemme luontoa. Minä rakastan kävellä luontolla luonnossa. Kesaällä minä menen metsään tai kenttään kentälle (kentälle is more like "to a sports ground", if you mean more like a "meadow" then you can use "niitylle"), mutta tänään on syksy ja minä olen hyvin kiireinen, sen vuoksi minä käyn vain (I would add this to emphasise the comparison with the forest and the meadow) puistossa siskoni kanssa. Kun me (correct! but you can also leave it out to sound more natural) olemme väsynyt väsyneitä, me (same comment previously) menemme kahvilaan jouuomaan teetä. Joskus me menemme elokuvaaiin (we use the plural like in English), toisinaan me lepäänmme ystäväjien kanssa. Silloin me huvittelemme, ja kertromme viimeiset uutiset (we don't really use this phrase in Finnish, if you insist on it then you could say "ja kerromme tuoreimmat juorut/uutiset" i.e. "the latest gossip/news"). Myös jokimet (do you mean "jokainen"?) vapaapäivät minä oleskelen yhdessä vanhemmat vanhempieni kanssa. Se Ne oväat parhaat vapaapäivät. Hyvin On hyvä (or "mukavaa"), kun joka voit levätä jonkun sen kanssa joka kenen haluat.
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Excellent! Sounds really relaxing and peaceful.
0 votedNovember 4, 20150Some further corrections:
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An evening with the friends
The other day when I finished my university classes, I decided with my friends to go out to for dinner in at some bar in Madrid.
At the beginning we didn´t know where to go and finally we went to a bar with many people inside, because of this bar which was recommended to us by an old friends (or "by old friends").
There were was many "tapas" , which is a Spanish names that we use to refer to a small littel piece of bread with some food on top above. and all Everyone decided to go for the same type of tapa which was delicious.
After these bar we decided to go to another one. and in this case the bar This one was with had less people, but had a there were fried eggs which all my friends and I finished it in one minute.
When we were already full, hadn´t hungry we decided to stop of eating and go to a pub to dance a littel little.
There It was a good evening.0 votedOctober 22, 20150Ensimmäinen yritykseni
Jos aurinko paistaisi huomenna, meneeisin rannalle. Olisin menutnyt eilen, mutta (silloin) satoi (vettä).
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Good job! Using the present conditional tense (-isi) in the first sentence makes it sound quite poetic :)
More informally you could write
"Jos aurinko paistaa huomenna, menen rannalle..."
The second sentence ends a bit abruptly so I would add at least an object for the verb 'satoi'.
Unlike in English, in Finnish we typically say "sataa vettä", literally, "to rain water".
0 votedOctober 19, 20151
