Surgeon

People often ask me what I want to be in the future. This is usually a daunting question for teenagers who are still struggleing to find their place in the world, but I have always had a my dream job in mind. I hope to become a surgeon, specifically in the pediatrics field. My visits to the doctor as a child was never filled with screaming and crying, rather with awe and curiosity. Who are these people who can magically take away my pain and illnesses? Of course as I went through the course of lower, middle, and high school, I realiz/sed ( depends on where the english is being written; australia / uk / america. sounds exaclty the same ) that diseases and infections are often caused by microscopic organisms or defects in our genetic code. But knowing that does not take away from the respect or admiration I hold for physicians. Surprisingly, I had the opportunity to accompany a group of surgeons on a medical mission in the Philippines, and there I was able to witness my heroes in action. Their knives moved in swift and precise motions, and their stitching was superb. The only worry I had prior to the mission was that I would not be able to handle the sight of massive amounts of blood, but there was no sign of dizziness or queasiness when I stepped into the operating room. Little girls and boys were lined up to get their operations, and I couldn't help but feel a little nervous for them, not because I doubted the skills of the surgeons, rather simply the fact that they are having procedures done at such a young age. Cleft palates were a common sight, and once the plastic surgeon fixed them up, the kids were quite a sight to see. No longer was there a gap between their lips, or a hole in the roof of their mouth; they looked what society deems "normal". I couldn't help but cry, knowing that these kids would have a better life without the discrimination that accompanies cleft palates. I have always liked kids and I have always liked doctors. That's why I want to combine two of my favorite types of people into one job, as a pediatric surgeon

Im sure the sentence structure can be improved upon to reduce the length, and frequency of comma use.

But great overall !