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您好! 我叫安迪。我的工作是生态学家给城市的政府(City of Bothell, Washington USA, near Seattle). 我学了年中文在附近大学。 差不多每天我练习中文一点儿。 我想要混合我的爱给生态学家一起对我有兴趣上中国。所以今后交新经历 还是事业。 希望这儿 交好朋友。 我们帮助一起彼此。 谢谢你! 祝好 安迪
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Chinese (Mandarin)
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  • Corrected


    soaking up the sun

    summer is coming ,it makes me delighted ,I take exercise to public park when the sun rises every morning ,I can also go swimming in the sea and play with sea waves .when I feel tired ,lying on the soft sand and soaking up the sun .how enjoyable ! summer brings me energy and happiness

    Hi Williams:
    Here is my clumsy attempt to correct your english.  Your writing is well thought out and is expressive (easy to understand and visualize).  The mistakes are more technical than absolute grammatical errors.  Using capital letters to start a sentence and correct use of periods instead of a comma.  One lesson I have learned over and over again under editor's red pen is to use "-ing" as sparingly as possible.  When you remove the "-ing" It shortens the words and makes them more active, in the here and now. 

    Here are my edits (PS I am not an English teacher, so my corrections may not be complete):

    Soaking up the sun.

    Summer is coming and it delights me.  At sunrise every morning I go to exercise at the public park.  I can also swim in the sea and play with sea waves.  When I feel tired I lay on the soft sand and soak up the sun.  How enjoyable!  Summer brings me energy and happiness.
    0 voted
    June 9, 2010
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