People Pleaser It is so easy to get lost and so difficult to find the way back, not only from darkness but from yourself. You can find yourself at the bottom and not knowing that you are there until a dreadful series of situations let you know the path that you have been walking through the entire time. Sometimes people give and give without expecting nothing in return and when they actually expect others to notice it, the expectations are so high that they are never completely satisfied. There are many people that find themselves on that terrible line of "giving" for love but when love stopped being enough to encourage those actions, what is left? Pain, disappoint, anger, guilt, emotions. That is what is left, a big box of feelings and emotions looking for someone to put the blame on but the truth is that the blame is all on them. It is said that if you are going to do something you should never expect something in return but if we take that into "love matters", does that actually applies? Because some people give love and show it not only by saying those three words but with actions and, can't they just expect to be love the same way back in return?

Perceptions: right and wrong

I have been thinking about the perception of things, how do we see things the way we do and why. It is something very difficult to understand since I am not a psychologist or anything alike, they may already know the answer to this questions but I am trying to figure that out by myself. The thing is that I have this perception about something that disturbs me, I wonder why do I think and act the way I do and it all goes back to my childhood. A quick example about this is the way I see and get involved into relationships, I get always attracted to men that are, so how, with someone else; married, couples, dating, just breaking up, unfinished business and so on. I know it is wrong and I never try to break anything that's already built but so how I always end up being the other girl and I don't feel completely bad about it so I know something is definitely wrong with me. Now, why do I say that it always goes back to my childhood? Well, my mother has been for several years in this kind of relationships so I believe that this has influenced me to believe that it's okey to do this kind of things and to find love in the wrong places cause I never see that bad thing of it till I am put in a position where I have to choose what's best, not only for me but for the other person too. See, I am the pleaser kind of person and even though that hurts me I jus can't stop being like that. So there you have, my little conclusion about why sometimes people act the way they do and why do they act like that, what have they lived that changed their perception about simple things like, right and wrong. I am still trying to find the way out of this toxic cycles and I would like you to know that there is people out there having the same problems. To finish, I would like to end with something that a dear friend once told me:<em> "Don't hate the player, hate the game".</em>
I would like to know what do you think about this?

What is love? This is a question we have all asked to ourselves at least once in our life. Does love actually mean something? For what I can tell, every time that I feel like I know the answer something proof me wrong. My short experience has shown me how much do I actually don't know and even though I have felt in love before then I've realized that that wasn't love at all. So why do we keep asking this question to ourselves? I have gotten to think that this is a natural feeling that some of us get to have. There is a book that talks about love as a lethal disease and how the world would be without it and it is actually not that bad but then I think about the things that I like, the things that I love, and there we have that word again. Who would I be without the things I like the most? Would I be myself at all? This question let us with more questions than answers. There are so many things that can provide us "love", music, reading, painting, playing, places, accomplishments, friends, family and you other half, your person. I would like to get deeper into the last one, your other half. Some of us are just trouble by nature and only the gods know why, and how do I know this? I consider myself one of them, poor souls that feel to much for their own sake and the worst part? It feels good. Always finding love in the wrong places, thinking that they can maybe change the rules of the game but that's not likely to happen still it doesn't stop us from trying it over and over again. That old thought that love can overcome everything gives people hope to keep going with their craziness, no wonder why there are so many fatal couples. Love, on the other hand, is a feeling that gets inside your body, you can feel its warmth in your chest, sometimes you can feel ants swarming the palm of your hand or your stomach so sick that you can actually throw up all your organs to fill your inside with the only feeling of love. So there you have, a question with so many right and wrong answers like the beginning of the universe, giving us the thought that none of them are entirely right or wrong because perspective always change. Thanks to the one that inspired me.

First video chat! I have just finished my first meeting on Skype with my partner Daniel, It was amazing. This place is really good and I am looking forward to have more experiences like this in the future. Such a great evening I had.

OBSESSED! I do not know if it is just me but I am kind of obsessed with this app. I am all day long in this webside and I am enjoying it a lot. Does this happen to any of you too?