Story 05-22-2014

In a small town of in Iowa, there was a bank robbery. The robber was arrested just after he (had) successfully hide hidden the loot. Since the robber was an illegal immigrant from (the) Pacific Ocean, and could not understand English, (the) inspector invite invited Mike to be /become his translator.
After a prolong prolonged and aggressive interrogation, the robber still refuse refused to spill the beans on concerning the whereabout whereabouts of the loot. Having no choice, (the) inspector gazed stared (at) the robber angrily and roared, "Tell him, if he still insist insists to hold his tongue, I will blow him right away."
Mike relayed the inspector's message to the robber. The robber jumped out of his skin and said incoherently, "The money (is) hide hidden in the well at the town hall. Please spare my life."
Mike turned to the inspector, his face as solemn as a judge and said, "This guy has the gut guts.  He said (that) he (would) rather die than submit. He asked (that) you to shot shoot him now."

Very well done!  I understood the story even before correcting it.  I crossed out the words that were incorrect, and typed missing words inside of the parentheses ( ).  Keep up the good work!