3) School Is Fun

This is my third post. Title of the story is "School is fun"

Lily is a good girl. Lily has a brother Raj. Lily and Raj study in school.They study in Class I.They go to school from monday to friday. Saturday and sunday are holidays. They go to school by the school bus.

- Days of the week are capitalised in English always. So it would be "Monday to Friday. Saturday and Sunday..."

- This sentence could be make better by saying "They go to school by taking the school bus."

In the school, They learn so many thing. They learn to read, write,do sums,dance.etc. They also learn to use *the* computer in school. 

- We don't really need "the" before school. 

-"thing" is plural here - "They learn so many things"

- However, we do need it after "learn how to use...". 

Lily and raj never fight.They are very polite children.But raj is a naughty boy. Sometime he does not do his homework on time. Lily helps raj in homework.Lily is a helpful girl.

-"in" does not work here. We would say "Lily helps Raj with his homework"

- "Sometimes" is plural when talking about frequency. 

-Remember that names always have a capital letter. "Raj".

In recess, They share their tiffin with their friends. Lily likes to eat healthy. She eats fruits and vegetable salad.

- Here the preposition would be "During recess" or "At recess"

- I don't know what tiffin is xD. Do you mean "lunch"?

- "fruit" here is singular, just like "vegetable".

but raj likes to eat chips and noodles.Lily always says "Raj , this is not healthy food. it will make you fat and lazy". After having their food.they go to play in *the* playground. school has a big playground. children play various games there. Raj likes to play football whereas lily plays throw ball.They come back to home in *the* afternoon from school.They change their clothes and have their lunch. After lunch, they take some rest and wake up in evening. In the Evening they have some milk and snacks and go to play in  *the* playground. They come back and finish their homework. raj always takes a little more time then lily to finish his home work. when they finish with homework , they have their dinner around 8 O'clock and after that take a short walk to digest their food. When they come back they read  *a*story or watch television sometimes. they go to bed around 10.

- We need "the" for the plaground, after "to play in". 

- "to come back home" doesnt require "to". 

- we need "the" for periods during the day- "in the afternoon", "in the morning", in the evening". But "at night". 

- "homework" is one word. 

- We need "a" for story because it is singular. However we can say "they read stories". 

-"..takes more time than Lily." not "then". 

Great effort :) Just need to watch out on some minor things such as preposition use, capital letters,  and words like "the, a". I know it is difficult. However, these are only minor things, and with more studying you can improve :)