Please check & correct

please check my sentences & correct them & tell me if there is unnatural sentences in terms of the meaning, thanks :)

1 - Am I performing acting my role well?
2 - will Are you accepting my deal? OR Do you accept my deal?
3 - Is he counting accounting the amount/number of students in each class?
4 - Are we achieving our purpose by doing that here?
5 - Is the teacher adding new subjects to the exam now? OR why is the teacher adding new subjects to the exam now?
6 - Is the man admitting to his crime?
7 - Does Is your living abroad affecting you this way? OR Is living abroad affecting you in this way?
8 - Why are you saving affording to buy a new car for your wife, when while you already have a lot of responsibilities?
9 - What/which are you agreeing with, his point or mine?
10 - How are you aiming to make that happens? OR How do you aim to make that happen?

You have done a good job here, just remember that certain words only work in certain situations e.g. counting is used when you are listing the numbers of something, and accounting is used when talking about banking and money. Good work!

My Formal Essay

When I was in High School, I likeed to spend my free time on something that could later on could change my life: for example, video games, especially about World War 2. I learned a lot about the history, the politics, and all other affairs that later on led me to a pile of books on of WWII and other international issues. Since then, I have wanted to be a diplomat, so and the next day, I found myself delving delved into on to some German’s books. So thus my language stories began.

Though my German and Japanese (designated subject in second year of high school) was neglected as soon as I finished my high school, my language journey began once again in my second year of university. It was my second choice to take an Accounting major instead of my first, International Relations. It was Quite much of a hurdle going that I’ve been through with my study, especially during on my second year. But in the end I overcame the could settled down some adversities that i'd I’ve gone through before and finished my study on time.

Korean is the my turning point in escalating my interest from hobby into passion of on language learning. Despite my lack of Korean speaking ability for these past 3 years, I had been trying and combining my own method of study so the tiring yet valuable process would notwas quite hold me back in a little to advancing with my Korean, but eventually I have grasped the core of the language core pretty well good. The outcome of all that process is that, Korean has is become my first language, that and I have fallen fell in love.

This was a pretty complex topic, but you a did really good job of getting your points across. Remember to use the correct tense for the situation. e.g 'Has' instead of 'is'

Keep practicing and you will continue to do well! Good luck!

In March 3th

I have had too much trouble recently. I cut my hair short yesterday, and hoped that any trouble to follow would disappear. hope to trouble followed it disappear
there are a I lot of things I can not insist on, but I remind myself that I must adhere to learn English.

You have done a good job here. The main things to work on would be sentence structure and the order in which you place words. Try writing passages with easier topics, and gradually increase the number of words you use. Try reading more English text as well as this will build your vocabulary. Good Job!

My first letter

Hello!

My name is Sara. I'm 23 years old and I'm from Spain. My native language is Spanish.

I need to practise and improve my English because I'm studying Tourism at in the University. Therefore, I am is required to know two languages; English and French.
In addition, I have a big problem. Always, The teachers always taught had teaching us to understand the words and reading, however, rarely we rarely write something. For this reason, It's very difficult for me to write even this short letter .

I want to apologize to at the people that are we going to read my letter but I want to thank them too.
I expect to be able write better with the time. 
Thank you!!

Please don't appologise! This is a very good entry, especially since you have not practiced writing English very much! The main problem is your 'joining words'. Make sure that you use singular and plural words consistently in your sentences. e.g. 'the teachers always taught us to understand words...' This is because it has happened in the past. Other than that, you have done a really good, job. Keep practicing!