My essay was too bad T___T

Yesterday I have an interview for the position of Administrative Officer.
I went to the office, it took over 40 minutes to get there by bus.
When I arrived I used the elevator to get to the 13th floor. 
At the reception desk the staff gave me an application form and an essay to fill in as well!
T____T The content was about the tourist industry in Thailand.
And this is the essay I wrote. (Some parts that I can recall)

>>> in Thailand, the tourist industry makes a lot of income for the country. The number of foreigners come to travel in Thailand has been increasing.
There are many attractions that motivate travellers to visit the "land of smiles" such as delicious food, cheap hotels and resorts, beautiful beaches in the south, a good atmosphere in the north and kind people that always help you with any problem.
However, there are also problems with management such as the traffic jams in the big city, outdated technology and lots of garbage in tourist areas.
I think the tourist industry will benefit from increased quality control management for travellers and services, which develop technology and increase comfort... (I forgot this sentence.)
and ready to serves.
-End-

I revised it based on making the passage more understandable. But overall the ideas you present are great and you spell very well. Continue to practice knowing when you put -ED on the end of a word.