REFERENCE LETTER. (Please help me)

Dear Rich,

Hello, I hope you are well. I am writing to ask a huge favor — I’m applying for a master's degree and I was hoping you would consider writing a letter of recommendation on my behalf.

I always have appreciated your perspective and judgment. You have so much credibility, since you are our project manager leader. I thought you would be a perfect person to act as a reference.

[This is fine, but to avoid repetitive language, I would personally write it as:  "I've always appreciated your perspective and judgment.  You have so much credibility, as you are our project manager.  Therefore, I thought you would be the perfect person to act as a reference."]

I have included a list of bullet points along with a draft letter you might consider using as a template. I would like to make the process as easy as possible on you because I know you are a busy man.

If for any reason you don’t feel comfortable writing a letter on my behalf, I completely understand. If you are willing to do so, however, please feel free to take the attached sample letter and use it as a template however you see fit.

I have tried to address my core strengths as a strategic thinker and team player; I have highlighted several projects I’m particularly proud of. To the extent that If you would like to make any changes or modifications to the letter, please go ahead and do so. I trust that you’ll include only those topics you feel comfortable commenting upon.

Thank for your time and help and offer to make yourself available for any further questions they may have.
__________________

To Whom It May Concern:

As project leader of several chemical industries and currently of INDUSTRY S.A de C.V., I work closely with many engineers and professionals. I consider Antonio Mayoral to be one of the most studious and responsible members of our organization. After two years time, I have come to know him well and would like to recommend him as a candidate for your master's degree program.

Antonio is a dedicated member of the INDUSTRY S.A de C.V project team.  Not only has he worked exhaustively, he has also shown leadership and organizational skills, and these have been invaluable to our projects, most of which have been started from the ground up, for example a waste water treatment plant, in this project He has supported me doing some chemical experiments required for the development and design of it, as well as the construction of some facilities and equipments.

[This is a major run-on sentence.  I would correct it as follows:  "Not only has he worked exhaustively, he has also shown leadership and organizational skills.  These skills in particular have been invaluable to our projects, most of which have been started from the ground up.  For example, we created a waste water treatment plant, in which Antonio supported me by doing some chemical experiments required for its development and design.  He also contributed to the construction of some facilities and equipment."]

I am happy to recommend Antonio and I have no doubt that he will be able to successfully overcome all challenges that he intends.

To conclude, I would like to restate my strong recommendation for Antonio. If you have any further questions regarding Antonio's ability or this recommendation, please ...

Overall, this is an excellent letter!