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  • Corrected
    0 voted
    May 30, 2013
    0
  • Corrected

    A Present for My Friend

    Today is my friend's birthday, I gave her a present and she smiled brightly as soon as the moment (I don't think 'as soon as' is wrong but it doesn't sound normal to me) she got recieved (same reason) it.
    Seeing her smiling smile (more info here: http://www.pearsonlongman.com/ae/azar/grammar_ex/message_board/archive/articles/00066.htm) made me feel cheerful. This The (emphasizing on the subject here is more natural) present is was a bunch of flowers which is which was (or you can omit the whole thing) made of candy.
    I did made it for a whole night by myself.
    She is a nice girl, she always helps me a lot. As long as Whenever I am in trouble, she will always be is always with me. (using 'as long as' is not good because it sounded like 'she had no other choice but to be with you', a forced action or something)
    I am happy to be friends with her.

    0 voted
    May 30, 2013
    2