For an endless 4 years I was struggling with an eating disorder. It took me that long to go through mental problems and self-harm. So now I feel brave to share my experience. In the beginning it seemed totally normal to go to bathroom after overeating at holiday. However, then It started to happen on a regular basis. It all happened too fast so only after a year or two I recognized what I had done to myself. For me it is still unbelievable, but only after a few times I had specifically made myself throw up, my body reacted super badly: my heart was beating so much faster, I was getting dizzy without any reason, my stomach was paining like someone is punching, plus I lost my periods for a year or so. That all said, one day I decided to do my best to get back to my normal life but trust me, it is so much harder getting to this point. I compared myself with people addicted to drugs. You tell yourself not to do it anymore, but you can’t control yourself from opening the fridge. But I remember one day something changed with me. My friend- an angel, who did not have a clue of what I was struggling with, just spontaneously made me see that I am wonderful just the way I am. If I gain an extra kg, his feelings to me would not change. This thought just changed my entire life! I realized that I am loved for my soul not for my body shape or anything. Another thing that helped to recover is my friends. To be honest, I have never shared my problem with them, but once they noticed that something was wrong with me, they started to text/call/hang out with me the whole day long so I got distracted and lost my main focus of food. So the lesson I learned from this journey is that: 1. Don’t feel ashamed to contact a therapist or at least let your besties know what is happening 2. You deserve to be loved the way you are. Ignore those who criticize your body, I feel those toxic people don’t deserve my company. However, if they are mean to you, then just let them know of your feelings