All over these years, the question on my mind is what is my real power resources when I was punching and kicking. At first I think the best birthplace for combat power is anger because it really help me a lot when I was in desperation. Then I learnt to be angry when I was trying to master those skills. Once upon a time, I was told I was wrong totally and my master asked me to be soft, to be adaptive no matter what I confront. Of course, I know the importance of being flexible but sometimes you can't make it when you stay in that sort of state.A two-finger-push-up would be impossible, for example. what's worse, being soft for too long make me too weak to feel anything special about this way. Perhaps it's me who didn't understand the master very well and make myself clumsy. Maybe I need to build an adaptive mechanism for myself. But how? It's so difficult to find a standard to tell you when to be soft or when to be firm.

     Time and time again my friends convince me of hanging out with some girl from rich to get a home to live in, which should be called a house precisely and ridiculously. however, my choice is always denying because it's kind of hypocritical and unfair to lie to her or myself, I think. No matter how tough life is for me, my stubborn heart tell me I can hold on myself. But I have no idea what's next.