my OCD I had suffered from Obsessive compulsive disorder aka OCD for long time in my life. fortunately now I'm perfectly cured this nasty disease, but my life got eaten by it. I guess it started from the 4th grade of my elementary school days. I visited the hospital with my mom because of my distorted arm. --I broke my left arm to fall down from see-saw before, but the surgery was failed and my left arm got distorted- it was a famous surgical hospital in my city, and many before-and-after surgery pictures which include brutally cut human limbs were attached to the wall of the waiting room for medical consultation. and suddenly one weird and unwanted thought echoed in my head 'I want to get those kind of broken limbs.' of course it was not my intention. it is called automatic, intrusive thoughts by OCD. I had no idea what OCD is at that time, so I got really afraid of the thoughts. I felt like 'what the heck is it? am I going insane? I NEVER want to have those brutal limbs.' but every time I had visited the hospital, I couldn't help but let intrusive thoughts flow. it was kind of a massive attack in my brain. I wanted to cry, and I felt so miserable and tired of the intrusive thoughts. but It was gone as soon as I had a corrective operation and got out of the hospital. I was a sort of sensitive and nervous child. I developed some OCD behavior without recognition, but it was OK. because I could control and mange my behavior at least. but another disaster came in year follow. I became a 5th grader of the elementary school, and one another intrusive thoughts echoed in my head repeatedly. it was 'mom, die.' can you ever imagine the amount of pain and guiltiness I had? I was so confused due to lack of knowledge about OCD. I thought evil or satan or whatever that kind of thing came into my head. so all I could react after the blasphemous thought was say 'mom, please don't die.' now I know it was one of OCD reaction. but I couldn't have any help or knowledge of this disease, so I had to think the sentence 'mom, please don't die' to clean my blasphemous thoughts. it's such a long and painful story to be fully recovered. so I just keep rest of story for next time. I'm so happy and thankful to be recovered. and now I counsel with OCD patients with my success strategy. I just uploaded my episode 40days ago, and over 40 patients gave me personal messages. I hope that many more Korean people understand mental diseases are common, and can happen to all of us.