Which sentence is right ? I bought two items with the same seller on a popular webpage, so which of the follow sentences can I reply : None of the two items arrived. None of both items arrived. None out of the two items arrived. None out of both items arrived. Saying "out" is correct in this context ? When can I use both or two ?

How do you say in english "si como no" ?? Once I watched a movie and it translated "si como no" as "just my ass" but someone told me it is not that used.Well, certainly you guys are right, but there's another context like a friend joking: "I've got a brand new car just because the old one's gotten a little scratch" or "I've got a new girlfriend because the latter forgot my birthday, and I hate that" and you should probably say "uh uh, sure" maybe this is the answer but if there're better ones let me know. Thanks in advance.