Search from various English teachers...
[Deleted]
my boyfriend's family disapproved me..what should i do?? i have a problem ...my boyfriend is chinese ..i really love him and i spend beautiful time with him...but his family,expecially the father, don't like me..they think i'm not the girl right for him and that he must stay with a chinese girl.this family is very conservative and they became angry when they know that i and my bf make love...i feel me so sad when i hear that...but i don't know what should do for be accept by them... my bf argued a lot with his father and other people of the family..i'm so sad and in this days i cried a lot..i don't want he broke up with family..i try to do this but he said that i can't live without me..i only want that he smile even if i must leave him...i'm studing chinese and his family know italian quite well...i think the problem is only the father..it' s a strange men...last night he went at my house with other 2 man..and began to threaten me saying that I had to leave his son and the two men drove me badly... I was scared so much that I could not speak.I haven't told it to my boyfriendi know maybe it's not the right place to speak about that..but i have many chinese friends here in italky and i hope they could give me an advice

Answers · 17

6
I am sorry to hear that. But it's a little complicated. Many Chinese people especially the old are still traditional. I guess it's not your fault but the fact that you are a foreign girl. Many Chinese parents don't know how to communicate and get along with a foreign daughter-in-law. I guess that's why they don't accept you. You must realise this. However, as far as I can see, you don't need to give up right now. If you really love your boyfriend and want to be a part of his family, you have to prepare to make efforts to get along with his parents and other relatives. Learning Chinese is not only a need but also a must in this situation. Communicate more with his parents and let them know more about you. At the same time, tell your bf what are you thinking and feeling and face every difficulty with him together. It's very hard to have and remain a transnational marriage. If you want to, then protect it! Good luck!
2
i can't believe his father threaten you and the two men drove you badly . it's so terrible . i think you just need to link up . you and your bf should tell them both of you are seriously . and let them know even they don't like foreigner girl ,but you are the one who is let thire son happy , if they really love thire son ,they should give him rights to choose gf . good luck
1
The culture difference has been discussed already. At the moment,it's difficult to come over. However, firstly,you'd better try to calm down and discuss the situation with your bf(dettagliattamente). In fact, the only brige of you and his family is him. So, if your bf couldn't get well with his family ,they may blame this on you. Secondly,you can advise your bf to tell his family how deeply you love each other, how much you weight in his heart, how good and friendly you are, instead of shouting. In this way, his family may could have a better understanding to a certain degree. As a chinese, your boyfriend knows culture differences and his parents' traditional minds more well. Ask him more about this, it can really help you. Personally, I think his father's behavior,as an adult, is very impolite and inapproriate. He tried to push you away by frightening you, but it doesn't mean he dares to do bad things. Don't be too worry about it, but be more careful in the future. I do hope that you will get through the problem.
1
I suppose there must be other real reasons.Don't let ur bf argue with their parents,it will make things worse.You can try to make him communicate with them and get to know the real reasons.If you know his parents' concerns and why they disapprove you,you will find the solution.
1
I think you should to know waht's the reason of it.Maybe be there are some misunderstanding.So,don't give up.It must be better tomorrow. I think that you should to talk it with your boyfriend first.And you must calm.Because you should face to the problem together.It's also his resbonsibility. If his father don't disapproved you.You can show your advantages.Make recognized from your boyfriend's other family members first.Make them to help you.Then his father must be turn his mind.Also do not forget please his father at the same time.

Still haven’t found your answers?

Write down your questions and let the native speakers help you!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today