It looks good, just a small suggestion: "I shop mostly in stores, so I have to go into more than one store to compare prices and negotiate WITH a seller about the price in order to get a good bargain. I suggest removing the word "good" before the word bargain. The word bargain does not need an adjective before or you can write "...in order to get a good price OR a better price".

I shop mostly in stores. I have to go into more than one store and negotiate with the sellers to ensure that I get a good deal. I shop mostly in stores. I have to go into more than one store and negotiate with the sellers to be sure I am getting the best price possible.