I am in a fantastic theme park! The atmosphere is amazing here. Many people are starving because of the glorious smell. I can see a lot of extraordinary rides. Visitors are enjoying them. Children are exhausted, but they are still hilarious to watch. Everyone is making tremendous noise. (Somebody is even terrified?). This park is surrounded by enormous pines. Also, I can see many (scrumptious?) flowers. Everyone is laughing. No wonder! Here are a lot of ridiculous clowns. Scrumptious - (of food) extremely appetizing or delicious; (of a person) very attractive I'm unsure what this is suppose to mean here. I'm assuming you meant beautiful or pretty. Other adjectives you can use are alluring, beauteous, bewitching, or pulchritudinous. Somebody is even terrified - I'm unsure what this means here. Terrified of the rides? Terrified of the noise? You should either completely take out this sentence or add why they're terrified. Examples: The rides were so large, somebody was terrified. In the passage, I added a few words that would help the passage make more sense, just for context reasons. Besides stating the context, this was really good. I hope you do well on your assignment.