This is a part of an opinion essay. Would it be possible someone help me with the correct grammar?
...As a result, these factors could diminish marginalization and improve the security, reducing costs to society.
Admittedly, opponents say that the problem lies with the poverty and not where people live. What is more, they say that low-income earners have different demands from those of high-income. Although these issues should be solved, I think that mixed living is advantageous to the poor and rich, even if it does not eliminate the poverty. Indeed, it is a win-win situation, giving them greater chances to understand each other better and creating more quality of conditions for both of them.
Even though it is unsure that mixed living communities could lessen the gap between low-income and high-income population, I believe it is worth a try because of the many advantages that this model claims to bring to the quality of life, not only for the poor, but also to the rich...
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Answers · 2
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Yes Samantha, you're right. I agree with you. Thank you for your disposal to evaluate my piece of writing. It was of great value for me. Have a great day!
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the grammar is great but in the last part of it, it seems like a run on sentence. You could make it into shorter sentences by putting the claim/thesis separate from the supports.
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