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Is there any mistakes in this email? I thought it is fine, but my supervisor told me it is terrible! Why? Dear xxxx, I am currently living in the university (xxxx), so that my home address is the same with my university address. My affiliation in the body of this letter is expected to be written as: xxxxxxx Please add an additional section in the body of this letter: xxxxx Please use one of the ready-to-print address labels (either PDF or PNG format), which are attached in this mail and show my address in both English and Chinese, to send me the original copy of the letter. Additionally, could you do me a favor to email me a scanned copy of this letter before sending it to me? Thank you for your help.Let me introduce the background of this mail. xxxx told me that he is going to write me a letter to certificate the offer of my scholarship. (Is this sentence problematic?) And I write the mail showed to you to tell him how to write my address and some other detailed issues about the letter.

Answers · 5

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Dear xxxx, I am currently living at the university (xxxx), so my home address is the same with my university address. My affiliation in the body of this letter is expected to be written as: xxxxxxx Please add an additional section in the body of this letter which includes: xxxxx Please use one of the ready-to-print address labels (either PDF or PNG format), which are attached to this email. Please have my address in both English and Chinese when you mail me the original copy of the letter. Additionally, could you email me a scanned copy of this letter before mailing it to me? Thank you for your help. At least that is how I would write it. Hope this helps. If you have any questions send me a message and I will answer them.
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living in(/at) the university my home address is the same as my university address which are attached to this mail
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Too much useless words jammed together. It's a torture to figure out what you said in this letter.
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就算是中国人看了这篇英文也觉得很头疼。
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It isn't terrible but the sentence structuring is a bit awkward. This is how I would correct it. "I am currently living in the university (xxxx), so that my home address is the same with my university address." (My current address is (xxxx), it is located within the University.) "My affiliation in the body of this letter is expected to be written as:" (My affiliation is written as:) But I have a hard time understanding this sentence but it may be due to my lack of understanding of how your school body works. If you could clarify for me, that would be great. "Please add an additional section in the body of this letter which includes:" (Please add an additional section in this letter which includes:) Try to keep the sentence simple, try not to use too many fancy words. It can make the sentence sound awkward. "Please use one of the ready-to-print address labels (either PDF or PNG format), which are attached in this mail and show my address in both English and Chinese, to send me the original copy of the letter. " (Please use the attached labels and show my address in both English and Chinese so I can receive the original letter) I would of written it somewhat like this... in business, we like to keep language simple and concise. "Additionally, could you do me a favor to email me a scanned copy of this letter before sending it to me?" (Also, can you send me a scanned copy of this letter before sending it to me?) But your original sentence is fine too. I just would of written it like this.

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