The "ugly" beauty When I was younger, maybe 15, my mother asked me "why are not like your friends?" (my mother is so lovely, isn't she?). If you see me with my friends, you can probably recognize me after one second because, first, I am the girl with the grumpy face and second because I am not pretty as them. They are always cute in every situations and they wear always fancy clothes. I just wear what I find on my wardrobe (or chair) in the morning. I don't use makeup and everytime I look myself in the mirror I can't understand if I am still 15 or I am an adult because of my face (I still have a baby face) and my clothes. A few days ago one of my colleague told me "you should stop wearing clothes like you were still a university student". I felt very miserable and I was crying inside (I could cry properly because if I did, I would have ruined my clothes making things worse - if it had been possible -). I always wanted to be like my friends with fancy clothes, but it seems that this is not going to happen. I like clothes, I like reading fashion magazine (you wouldn't say), but I can't see me with this things on, because, I don't know, maybe I don't think I am so nice. I have always been invisible in the last 27 years, so why should I spend money and time with fancy clothes or makeup if no one sees me? (well, it could be a good point tell me that if I keep having this attitude, it's normale if no one sees me). I tried lot of times to be a different person, more adult, with makeup or skirt or a new pair of shoes (not just sneakers), but I feel uncomfortable. I seem just a child who wants to be an adult. Why do that clothes not fit to me? Why do I feel comfortable only with a pair of jeans and t-shirt (so I can hide my fat)? I am a bit envious, because when I see my friends with fancy clothes I wish I could be like them (so very cute with adult clothes). Unfortunately I know that life is not like a movies, where the cool guy finds how beautiful you are even though you hide yourself behind books and a pair of glasses (maybe the next post could be about how wrong is thinking that we need to be saved by someone to be happy). Life it's not a movie: I am not becoming a beautiful swan and it's ok. Maybe I will be always the ugly duckling of my group; at least I keep being funny (as my tragicomic humor allows me) and a happy owner of a lot of books (not of a pair of glasses, because I broke them a few days ago and I don't want to go to buy a new one because I am very lazy).