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Shelter for abused child If I have a land I will build a shelters for abused children. We live in a danger world where we don't have sure of bringing kids with good parents. Everyday we are read and listen about fathers and mothers who harshly punish their sons and treat them inhumanity. Once those kids grow up, they will act like their parents. To stop this continuous circle of violence, I think it will be better if there are special shelters for them. In these shelters, there will be family therapists and social supporters to determine if abused child needs an educational program or only rising awareness of his/her right. They also can decide the type of support which this child needs. In these shelters, sport clubs and leisure activities _ which is appropriate to child's age_can be established. In addition, it's good to invite great models such as international musicians and peace ambassadors for coming and making a spiritual communication with abused kids to touch their deep wounded soul. Only if it happens, I will start believing in our ability to face terrorism threat!

Corrections · 6

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A shelter for abused children

If I have a land I will build a shelters for abused children. We live in a danger world where we don't have sure of bringing kids with good parents. Everyday we are read and listen about fathers and mothers who harshly punish their sons and treat them inhumanity. Once those kids grow up, they will act like their parents. To stop this continuous circle of violence, I think it will be better if there are special shelters for them.

In these shelters, there will be family therapists and social supporters to determine if abused child needs an educational program or only rising awareness of his/her right. They also can decide the type of support which this child needs.

In these shelters, sport clubs and leisure activities _ which is appropriate to child's age_can be established. In addition, it's good to invite great models such as international musicians and peace ambassadors for coming and making a spiritual communication with abused kids to touch their deep wounded soul.
Only if it happens, I will start believing in our ability to face terrorism threat!
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Shelter for abused child

If I have a  I had land,  I will  would build a shelters for abused children. We live in a danger  dangerous world where we don't have sure of bringing kids  are not  sure kids will be raised by good parents. Everyday we are read and listen about fathers and mothers who harshly punish their sons and treat them inhumanity .inhumanely Once those kids grow up, they will act like their parents. To stop this continuous circle of violence, I think it would will be better if there are special shelters for them.

In these shelters, there will (would is better here but not necessary) be family therapists and social supporters to determine if an abused child needs an educational program or only rising awareness of his/her rights. They also can decide the type of support which this child needs.

In these shelters, sport clubs and leisure activities _ which is are appropriate to child's age_can be established. In addition, it would be good to invite great models such as international musicians and peace ambassadors for coming to come and making a spiritual communication  spiritually guide with abused kids to touch their deep wounded soul.
Only if it this happens, I will start believing in our ability to face terrorism threat the threat of terrorism!

Very nicely done! You expressed yourself very well and the corrections simply help it to sound more natural. Perhaps review the conditional mood which might be helpful here. Good luck as you continue improving your language skills - you are doing great!

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